When the honeymoon phase is over, he's still invested.
You're super-excited about someone and your feelings are intense for them. The sex is off-the-charts hot. The connection is amazing. Waiting to see this person is torture. You cannot imagine another second without being in this man's arms.
You're so cooked and fried over this guy, we could call you a friggin' hamburger. But is he sizzling over you? (Pardon me... all this talk about sex makes me hungry. Wink.)
Is this man crazy about you and serious about the relationship you're forming? Or is it just about the sex for him, and the only real relationship that's going on is the one inside your head? Here are eight signs he's actually serious about your relationship and isn't just in it for sex.
1. When the chips fall, he's there to see you through.
If he's serious about your relationship, when your car breaks down, you get sick, the cat dies or you have a huge blowout with someone in your family, he's there. He's there not because he's forced to be, but because he cannot imagine leaving you alone.
He's there because he's invested in the time he spends with you and developing what you two share. He's there because you need him, and that's all he needs to know. If he's not there for you, he's only into you as a "curvy, sexy body." Period.
2. When you're not in the mood for sex, he's still in the mood to see you.
It's not about whether you're up for a 2 AM booty call or not. It's not about whether you're down to give him oral on command. It's about mutual reciprocity and respect. So when you have a headache and feel crappy or just want to cuddle, homeboy is still there to cuddle you or leave you alone to sleep.
You're not there for his every sexual wit and whim. You're a person with your own needs and desires, and he respects that.
3. When it comes time to let your lives intermingle, he lets it happen.
A man who is serious about you incorporates you into every corner of his life, while, of course, maintaining his own identity. He wants you to meet his friends and his family. He wants you to understand how he thinks. He wants you to see what he does for a living, or at least attempt to understand what he does.
A man who is serious about you doesn't have time for keeping your lives separate. He wants them to intermingle. To boogie. To sway and interlock with each other. This is his way of telling you: "You mean something to me."
It's also his way of testing the longevity of your relationship. A man who just wants to fool around has no intentions of bringing you around to anyone, any time soon. He wants you where he feels you belong: in his bedroom only.
4. He has you in his internal GPS.
When a man is serious about you, he places you in his environment. You're right at the heart of his map — his life map, his heart and his brain. When a man isn't serious about you, you're on the periphery. You're not on his GPS. You're not even a "recommended place."
Instead, you're a destination he visits every now and then when he is lonely. A destination he travels to when he wants to get off. Pick a man who places you on his GPS for good. That's a man who loves you for you, and not just the sex.
5. When the honeymoon phase is over, he's still invested.
Early dating is fun. The spark! The newness! The mystery! The new sex! Eventually, though, if a relationship is going to work it's got to deepen to another level. Crushes either disappear or turn into full-bodied love. When a man is serious about you, he's invested in going further after the early dating and not just looking to find the next woman for "hot sex."
6. When the good masks come off, it's still good.
Let's be frank: In early dating, we all try to be our super-duper best self. After some time, though, people reveal their flaws. If a man is serious about you after the newness has faded, his "good mask" is still pretty damn good. He's not some secret psychopath.
7. When there are no games, there is commitment.
When games exist, it's not a serious relationship. When your man is clear and direct about who he is, what he wants, and how he sees you in his world, he's serious about you. A man who plays games is not serious and is just down to f*ck.
8. When he makes you feel secure and loved, there is potential.
A man who tries to make you feel jealous or threatened by other females or individuals isn't a man who's taking your relationship seriously. That's a man who just wants to play with your body and mind for his own gain.
A man who loves you makes you feel secure and wanted. He doesn't make you guess. His cards are on the table, flipped up for you to see at every turn.