Times are clearly changing!
But, are these really the main reasons each sex turns to infidelity? It turns out — there’s more to know.
First off, let's clarify — Who is more likely to cheat: men or women? While historical data states 22 percent of men and 14 percent of women have an extramarital affair in their lifetimes, the tide is apparently turning. A more recent survey in Britain stated that 9 percent of men and 25 percent of women would try gettin' a little on the side if they had the hots for someone else.
So, now that we know up to a quarter of all women and as little as one-tenth of all men have (or would have) an affair, what else do we need to know? That infidelity hurts? Check. That infidelity is usually a symptom of a much deeper problem? That infidelity often destroys mental, physical and financial wellbeing? Check and check.
Well then, why does it happen?
Specifically, why do men cheat? And, why do women cheat? To get clear insight on that, we checked in with the master of knowing the differences between men and women, John Gray. He brought along sex coach Lauren Brim, medium Bee Herz, relationship coach Ravid Yosef and YourTango SVP Melanie Gorman to get to the bottom of this topic.
Our panel strongly refutes the idea that men are just ravenous, sex-starved beasts (from Mars) and women are just affection-seeking wallflowers (from Venus) BUT do agree the sexes do usually turn to infidelity from different angles.
Per John Gray (and America’s favorite show The Affair), some men can have perfectly great sex lives at home and still stray just because the opportunity is there. He argues that, on a whole, men are better able to detach sex from those sticky, sweet feelings women associate with the act. However, if the stats are to be believed, why do 14 to 25 percent of women engage in an affair?
Some argue that a woman having an affair is looking for an escape, either momentarily or permanently, from a relationship that just doesn’t work. However, as we move away from our Victorian Era sexual mores (not to mention petticoats), maybe more women are just interested in getting laid with someone else.
Yeah, maybe there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer for why we cheat. But we do know that by getting to the root of why there was cheating in your relationship that you can overcome it (or embrace it, hmmmmm?) and live the kind of amazing love life that you so richly deserve.