6 Things To Do With His Balls To Drive Him CRAZY (In A Good Way)

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Sex, Self

Keeping them in your purse isn't one of them.

Balls serve two functions: to house the seed of life, and to be hilarious when an actor gets hit in them.

When it comes to sexy time, they aren't the most obvious target. They basically look like what happens when I try to fold a fitted sheet.

But don't let that shroud their potential. Like nipples, balls can be the source bonus pleasure for men during foreplay, or the act proper. Here's a few things to try if you want to go nuts:

1. Cup and stroke.

No, this isn't some weird golf metaphor, although I'd be surprised if Tiger Woods hasn't used those very words in the bedroom before.

If there’s anything Hollywood has taught us about balls, it's that they're sensitive. And like any sensitive body part, light stimulation across the skin can be pleasurable. It helps that they're in the vicinity of the main attraction at his sex theme park, too.

Cup the sack in your hands, and lightly jostle, or stroke lightly with your fingers. For the love of god, just don't squeeze.

2. Lick.

Preferably, this would be a precursor to oral sex and in general, part of foreplay. It's not something you'd stop mid-coitus to do. (The same goes for any of these, really.)

How you want to approach it is up to you — anything will feel great. Just treat it like a tease and build-up the suspense.

It's almost the male equivalent of kissing your inner thigh and around your vagina before he goes down on you. It's the opening act.

3. Play with them during a blowjob.

There's almost nothing you can do during a blowjob — other than bite or vomit — that doesn't enhance the experience. And even then, there's probably a guy or two on the internet that fantasizes about those very two things.

The only thing better than one sex act, is two sex acts ... at the same time. You probably have something you like while having sex — having your nipples played with or your hair pulled — that heightens the stimulation.

This is that.

4. Kiss them.

Maybe you can't quite commit to having them in your mouth for whatever reason, but it feels fantastic to have sensitive areas kissed.

The best analogy I can come up with is the neck. Kissing his balls his like making out with his dick's neck. Did I really just write that sentence?

5. Suck on them.

This really goes into the same category as licking them in terms of an explanation. You probably want to do both leading up to oral.

My word of advice is to be slow and gentle. Ball pain hurts so much, it can cause physical nausea. And getting too aggressive could cause a mishap that cancels the whole encounter.

6. No seriously, be careful with them.

This is less a sex tip (although it applies there, too), and more of a general life-hack. The amount of times my balls have been accidentally kneed, smacked, or generally abused is absurd.

It's not your fault. You're climbing over us into bed and forget we have external genitalia — these things happen. I once had an ex who accidentally hit me in the junk at least once a week.

When it comes to his package, just remember: you take care of it, and it'll take care of you.


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