12 Signs Your Man *Definitely* Has A Micropenis

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Signs Your Man Definitely Has A Micro Penis
Sex, Self

Not all good things come in small packages.

Let's be honest: penis size matters. But not for the reasons you're thinking. (Though, obviously, that doesn't hurt. At least not figuratively speaking.)

A man's manhood is something that probably makes him totally insecure. It's the reason why, even if you both know you're lying, a guy gets super happy if you tell him he's the biggest you've ever had.

It's also the reason why penis enlargement ads are some of the most popular spam emails ever, which is something I once had to try explaining to my 94-year-old, otherwise tech-savvy grandpa, who didn't realize he wasn't being specifically targeted for them. (That was a tough conversation I don't wish upon anyone.)

As a result of being insecure about the size of their junk, some guys will overcompensate with macho, misogynist and downright douchebag behavior.

You know how Napoleon was a short dude? Same idea, just lower down. To save you an awkward conversation and a disappointing roll in the hay, here are some signs that the guy you're curious about probably has a micropenis. Don't say we didn't warn you.

And guys? If you're offended by any of these, congratulations! You've probably never made a woman happy. Go get a magnifying glass and some therapy.

He thinks negging is a good idea.
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He throws tantrums when he doesn't get his way.
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He talks over you.
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He judges your clothes.
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He drives WAY too aggressively, even if you're not in a hurry.
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He thinks Robin Thicke videos are genuinely romantic.
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Every conversation consists of him bragging about everything. Absolutely everything.
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He overcompensates.
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He can't stop flexing.
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He's in a hurry to get laid ...
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... But he leaves as soon as he's done.
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And the whole time you were just sitting there like ...
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