13 Brutal Truths About Having Sex With A Capricorn (As Told By One)

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We goat fish know where it's at.

Looking for the secrets of you or your partner's horoscope or zodiac sign? Well, you're in luck, because we are going to hand you some of the tricks to being with a Capricorn. There's no doubt that Capricorns are seriously misunderstood! We're career-oriented, meticulous, honest (sometimes brutally), and don't have time for your garbage. But once you get us into bed... ohh, you're in for a serious surprise. 


Related: The Type Of Man You DESERVE (Based On Your Zodiac Sign)
 

Contrary to our no-nonsense exterior, we tend to let go in the bedroom and drop our cutthroat determination. And while earth signs might be considered the most boring signs of the zodiac, if you're lucky enough to have hot sex with a capricorn the pleasure is all yours. 

If you have a Capricorn man or woman in mind that you'd like to take to bed, here are 13 brutal truths you must know:
 

1. We have a calm, cool exterior, but are closeted freakazoids.

Capricorns really are a lady/guy in the streets and a freak in the sheets. We may look serious, but we aren't afraid to take sex to a whole other level.


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2. We are playful and adventurous.

You'd never expect this since we're so well composed on our exterior. We definitely like to try new things in our sex adventures (including positions AND that freaky-deaky BDSM stuff.)


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3. We over-analyze before jumping into anything.

We've planned out every second of this sexual rendezvous in our heads. As creatures of habit, we like it when things to go our way... but we like it even more when our sex partners get a little creative. So please, throw us off guard! We're always looking for new sex tips to make things even hotter!


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Related: The Sex Position That Turns You On MOST, Based On Your Zodiac Sign
 

4. We always proceed with caution.

We may seem uninterested in ripping your clothes off, but we're just being cautious. Because we naturally hide our emotions, you won't know what we're doing to you in our minds *wink*

5. We actually enjoy humor!

We aren't serious all the time, jeez. Yeah, we might laugh, but it won't be AT you.


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6. We HATE HATE HATE being rushed!

For the love of God, don't do it. Being told to hurry up is such a huge turn-off for Capricorns. Be patient. We will rock your world.


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7. We don't need anything fancy to arouse us.

This is especially true if we're having sex with someone we love. We like our significant others to be romantic, but skip the candles, the rose petals, and the sensual body oil, and get down to business.


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8. We are a PSA for "less talk, more action."

We can get impatient, so shut your mouth and get to it, bucko!


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Related: 12 Zodiac Matches That Make Awesome Couples
 

9. We take a while to express ourselves sexually.

Especially Capricorn women. But once we do, our intense sexual energy is mind-blowing.


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10. We need intellectual stimulation, too.

We only sleep with the right kind of person and we're pretty picky about who it is. If you have common sense and can put a complete sentence together, you greatly improve your chances of Capricorn sex (because we don't just sleep with anyone, you know).

11. We crave dominance.

We want to be in charge because we bring our work ethic into the bedroom sometimes. Yes, you can be on top, but you WILL succumb to complete domination.

12. We have no problem asking for what we want.

Capricorns aren't afraid to speak up about what we do or don't like. "No, not there. I like it much better there."


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13. We can't control our libido.

OK, so we aren't sex-fiends like Scorpios, but we need that happy ending or our libidos might explode. Our perfectionism is to blame for that one, but we will always make sure sex ends with that 'O'.

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