Us goat fish know where it's at.
There's no doubt that Capricorns are seriously misunderstood. We're career-oriented, meticulous, honest (sometimes brutally), and don't have time for your bullsh*t. But once you get us into bed ... ohhhh, you're in for a serious surprise.
Contrary to our no-nonsense exterior, we tend to let go in the bedroom and drop our cutthroat determination. And while earth signs might be considered the most boring signs of the zodiac, if you're lucky enough to have hot sex with a Cap, the pleasure is all yours.
If you have a Capricorn man or woman in mind that you'd like to take to bed, here are 13 brutal truths you must know:
1. We have a calm, cool exterior, but are closeted freakazoids.
Capricorns really are a lady/guy in the streets and a freak in the sheets. We may look serious, but we aren't afraid to take sex to a whole other level.
2. We are playful and adventurous.
You'd never expect this since we're so well composed on our exterior. We definitely like to try new things (including positions AND that freaky-deaky BDSM sh*t).
3. We over-analyze before jumping into anything.
We've planned out every second of this sexual rendezvous in our heads. As creatures of habit, we like it when things to go our way ... but we like it even more when our sex partners add a little creativity. So please, throw us off guard!
4. We always proceed with caution.
We may seem uninterested in ripping your clothes off, but we're just being cautious. Because we naturally hide our emotions, you won't know what we're doing to you in our minds *wink*
5. We actually enjoy humor!
We aren't serious all the time, jeez. Yeah, we might laugh, but it won't be AT you.
6. We HATE HATE HATE being rushed!
For the love of God, don't do it. Being told to hurry up is such a huge turn-off for Caps. Be patient. We will rock your world.
7. We don't need anything fancy to arouse us.
This is especially true if we're having sex with someone we love. We like our significant others to be romantic, but skip the candles, the rose petals, and the sensual body oil, and get down to business.
8. We are a PSA for "less talk, more action."
We can get impatient, so shut your mouth and get to it, bucko!
9. We take a while to express ourselves sexually.
Especially Cap women. But once we do, our intense sexual energy is mind-blowing.
10. We need intellectual stimulation, too.
We only sleep with the right kind of person and we're pretty picky about who it is. If you have common sense and can put a complete sentence together, you greatly improve your chances of Cap-sex (because we don't just sleep with anyone, you know).
11. We crave dominance.
We want to be in charge because we bring our work ethic into the bedroom sometimes. Yes, you can be on top, but you WILL succumb to complete domination.
12. We have no problem asking for what we want.
Capricorns aren't afraid to speak up about what we do or don't like. "No, not there. I like it much better there."
13. We can't control our libido.
OK, so we aren't sex-fiends like Scorpios, but we need that happy ending or our libidos might explode. Our perfectionism is to blame for that one, but we will always make sure sex ends with that 'O'.