So, Are You Dating Him Or Just 'Dexting' Him?


Dexting (verb): dating through text.

By Marcella Garcia

It says a lot about your life when the guy that you've been "dexting" can predict what you are doing on your night "off" from life.

I should take a minute to explain. My night off is when Luc takes Summer for the day or overnight or both. I could typically use this time to reinvent myself or go out and live the life that a twenty something girl should be living. Instead, I decide to just uncork a bottle of wine, put on some sweats, and veg out while watching Vampire Diaries. Total waste of time, but hey, we all have our things. Right?

So that's that. Now, dexting is a term I invented for what I call "dating through text". Yup, in a world where love has been reduced to swiping right or left, it is no surprise that dexting has replaced both sexting and texting. This is when you and a person of the opposite sex (or same sex) decide there is some kind of cyber connection and you begin to text.

Whether or not you have successful text conversations will determine if you would like to meet. If the meet does happen, it either goes well, or somewhere in the middle of the date, you decide you are deleting that stupid dating app the second you walk in the door, or even the second you get in your car. I mean, the world is an ocean and there are plenty of fish at your fingertips.

Well, what happens when you have that cyber connection, but the meet never happens? Days become weeks and weeks become months and you are still texting with this special someone but the face to face contact never actually happens. This, my friend, is called "dexting". You are dating a person solely through text messaging.

My cyber boyfriend and I have been dexting for three weeks now. We say good-morning to one another, we say good-night. We give each other compliments and wish each other a wonderful day. It is too soon to utter the words "I love you" which in dexting is replaced by the emoji of the heart eyes combined with the kissing Emoji but I hope that one day, this will happen (though, I am in no rush).

As mentioned earlier, it has gotten so serious, that he can even predict what I am doing this very night! I mean I have never met someone who I am so compatible with. Through countless selfies and superficial questions, I feel like I really know this guy. Well, as much as I can get to know someone through cyber technology. It is just like a scene from "Her" only with an actual human being.

It isn't that I don't want to get to know this guy in person. It's just that he seems so amazing via cyber waves and perfected selfies. Why ruin a good thing? There is no way I can ever get hurt by someone who I have never met. The only thing I lose if this dexting thing doesn't work out is freedom from moving my fingers ALL the time. I've heard too much texting can give you arthritis.

So, there. Worst case scenario, I get arthritis and I have a forever dexting partner.

It sounds ridiculous I know but in a world where people hardly speak to each other and make connections due to an obsession with social media, candy crush and online shopping for significant others, dexting is the thing of the future. The way I see it, I am just ahead of the game. Plus, who has time for real dates when there are hours of mind blowing TV shows waiting to be streamed through my one true love. Netflix.

This article was originally published at BlogHer. Reprinted with permission from the author.


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