Don't screw it up!
Listen up kids! We are here to save you from awkward silences and even more awkward conversations on first dates. We've compiled the ultimate list of conversation topics to avoid when you take that cutie from the apartment next door out for drinks. Men and women should heed these warnings equally (except number 2. Ladies, that one's for you) and strive to improve your first date game.
1. Past exes. Let's not go down Depressing Failed Relationships Road, shall we?
2. Anything to do with your menstrual cycle. No one needs to know how much you're cramping right now. Even fellow girls don't need to hear it all the time.
3. The attractiveness of her mother. We don't care if you're trying to gauge how we are going to age; it's never a good idea to comment on our moms.
4. Weird places you've had sex. Whether it was on the beach, on a Ferris wheel, on the International Space Station, we don't want to hear it. We might want to get freaky with you one day, but not on the first date. This applies to men and women! Keep it together, kids.
5. How much you can drink. Rare is the person who is impressed by their date being able to drink them under the table. It'll just make you look questionable.
6. Asking if he or she would be up for a threesome. Great way to get walked out on, is all I'm saying.
7. Planning a future together. You haven't even had your appetizer; slow down and try not to freak your date out by asking where you see you two and your four kids living in ten years.
8. Politics. This can be a powder keg for some people. You might be a steadfast liberal while he or she is a confirmed conservative. You can find a way to make that work down the line, but on the first date, a passionate topic like that can send them running into the night. Also included under this umbrella is abortion. It is a tender subject for some people, so use good judgment and steer clear.
9. Racist/Sexist/Demeaning jokes. No. Just, no.
Remember, it's not that hard to have a successful first date. Just be your funny, kind awesome self, and all will be well.