Welcome to Sex Positions Road Test. Each week we'll try out a new move in bed (or somewhere else) and give you the real deal, awkward moments included. Have one you want us to try out? Tell us in the comments below.
Well I can't say I was terribly excited for this position. The idea of trying to hang upside down on J while hanging on for dear life to his legs, didn't seem like the ideal way to experience the pleasures of oral sex but an ideal way to get a headache. However intrepid explorer that I am, I knew I had to attempt the head rush if for no reason than to say I tried it.
After warming ourselves with a little makeout sesh, we now had to figure out how to get my legs around his shoulders so that I could hang upside down. I presumed as I was once a cheerleader this wouldn’t be too much of an issue. Alas, I presumed wrong. Shoulder stands and liberty stunts are no match for the head rush.
"I'll pick you up, you lean back, and then swing your legs above my shoulders," he suggested.
"Err, OK," I replied. It didn't seem terribly feasible but we attempted to give it a shot. I managed to hang upside down as he held to my legs but getting them to go above his shoulders was a feat that I simply could not accomplish.
"I'm gonna fall!" I squealed. "I'm coming up!" I hoisted myself back up so he was just carrying me.
"God we are so stupid. Why don't I just lie back on the bed towards the edge in shoulder stand position, then you stand at the edge? Then I'll easily be able to swing my legs over your shoulders."
"You realize even if you're in shoulder stand I'm a foot taller than you right? And you're on a Japanese low-lying bed right?"
"Good point," I muttered. God damn height difference. "What if I sit on the back of the sofa? That should boost me up higher."
"Yes! That is so going to work! Let's try it."
I sat on the back of the sofa, leaning back on my arms and hoisting my legs up. Now we were getting somewhere. I swung my legs up against J's body letting them dangle over his shoulders. I was almost there. I just needed J to pull me a little but higher so I could get my knees to res on his shoulders.
"Pull me up!" I instructed.
Finally, we were in the proper positon. My knees were resting on his shoulders with my legs dangling over his back. I was hanging upside down with my head near his business. Now he just had to go to town. This hardly seemed safe. What if J dropped me and I broke my neck? Or suffered a concussion? I hugged on to J’s legs holding on for dear life.
"So how does this feel?" he asked.
"Like all the blood is rushing to my head," I said grumpily. "Is this even hot?"
"It might be if I wasn't craning my neck and trying to hold on to you at the same time."
"Oh for God's sake just put me down." I had enough of this ridiculous pose. "I can just lie back on the edge of the sofa and put my legs against you. Like how we were getting into the pose."
"Sounds like a plan." The bad news is, this position blows harder than a porn star. The good news is we discovered a new position sitting on the back edge of the sofa with my arms on the cushions. Orgasm achieved.