8 Signs He May Have An Asian Fetish

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Has Linsanity taken hold of your man's senses... and loins?

As a resident of New York City and a fan of professional athletics, I'm duty-bound to somehow comment on the "Linsanity" currently surrounding the New York Knickerbockers.

Jeremy Lin, a Harvard graduate and an Asian-American, has begun starting for the Knicks (a basketball club playing out of Madison Square Garden, "the world's most famous arena"). Lin has made the most of his opportunities and set the hearts of New Yorkers afire. And because I work in online media, I have to mention that a fella working for ESPN was canned for "inadvertently" including a racial slur in the headline of an article about Lin. Ben & Jerry's was chastized for including fortune cookies in a Lin-themed ice cream. And the Asian America Journalist Association even produced a list of "danger zone" topics and tropes for covering the Lin Saga. We all know that hating an ethnicity is wrong, but what about loving them?

Here are signs that your (or someone else's) man has a Linveterate Asian fetish.

1) Has he ever yelled, "Pikachu, I choose you!" as he orgasms? Alternatively, does he refer to his testicles as Dragon BallZ?

2) Does he have over a dozen Asian-themed tattoos? Is one of them a likeness of him having sex with a geisha and their both giving thumbs up?

3) Are you yourself an Asian person? Are the lion's share of his past girlfriends?*

4) Is his sidechick a body pillow named Kimiko?

5) Is his license place: ILUVASNS?

6) In the past 12 months, has he visited Bangkok on more than 25 separate occasions? (He could also be an arms dealer, a professional kick-boxer or a collector of rare antiquities.)

7) Does he quickly correct any mention of that silly sideways vulvae rumor and then give a knowing double raise of the eyebrows?

8) If a woman owned the same number of cats as he owns Hello Kitty figurines, would you consider her a crazy cat lady?

If your guy answered "Yes" to five or more of these questions and he freely admits to being super into Asian women, he may really have an Asian fetish. Whether or not you yourself have Asian ancestry, this may prove problematic as science has not invented a pill to cure this affliction. Better luck tomorrow. Fetishes Make The World Go Round

*Note: Just because a person is Asian doesn't mean he can't have an Asian fetish. In Japan, they mostly marry Asian people.

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