Below is part two in this series, here is the link to part one: http://tinyurl.com/3g3slbg which documents the email communications between me and sex life coaching clients, Ken and Joyce, who are married partners. This is a great example of one way among several that I use to work with married couples, but more importantly it shows Joyce's take on the hot sex she had with her hubby that Ken wrote on in part one. You'll see her feedback to me: "This is real, this is marriage/life changing. I am excited to see Ken at the end of the day. I am in love with him again."
Amaranth: Great account, Ken. Very good, you two, on seeing the effectiveness of the rhythm shared by your dildohead pushes and her vibrator strokes. Taking the care and attention to detail can make tremendous differences. I'll have more to go over on this sex scenario on our next session too. I noticed how Joyce used, or may have used, one of the techniques I taught her for oral sex. I saw an article in the new york times I'm going to blog on vis a vi sex enjoyment within the long term relationship. One thing I'm very interested to see is how you two do over time now that you have this level of sexual sophistication and enjoyment in place.
Ken: Joyce may want to chime in with her own point of view of that evening. She has not read my report yet. Not only has our sex life changed dramatically for the better, but we're also delighted that our observations can be used to help others through your work.
Joyce: Ken only had to tell me to watch my teeth once during the oral sex I gave him. What you told me about oral sex in this position was to not worry about it too much, just play around, which I did.
Our communication is getting better and easier. We got started unsuccessfully on the bed-in the past this would have ended up in frustration, hurt feelings and probably just giving up. It started to go there but instead we were able to just talk about it, laugh and find a surface that worked. To me this is the biggest change, that it doesn't have to be perfect, we can relax, have a sense of humor and try something else. We have never been this relaxed with each other-at least not in a very long time-or communicated about sex so well.
This is real, this is marriage/life changing. I am excited to see Ken at the end of the day. I am in love with him again.
Something to address during our next session with you: after his orgasm and the hot intercourse after, Ken was ready for bed and I could have taken on the football team. Any suggestions other than dialing up the Seahawks? :)
Ken: Actually, Eric and I discussed the Seahawks scenario.... and toys are the key. The code word is Seahawks, baby, and I'll bring in your starting line-up!
Amaranth: Very good on only one teeth call out! Congrats on understanding and loving this new way to enjoy oral sex in combination with other pleasures. Yes, there are some things you can do when you want "the football team." Keep that as a note to ask me in the next session. That's too much for email. What football team means, as Betty said once in her book, Sex For One, is the woman has a craving for lots and lots of penetrative stimulation or if not that specifically, then a seemingly endless desire for sex and sometimes more orgasms too. It doesn't have to do, 99% of the time, with having sex with multiple men one after the other. ;-) It's quantity-based desire from whoever's there. Also, good job, Ken, for going with Joyce's desires via your "gimmie the code word" thing. You didn't let your ego get in the way of her fantasy. Instead, you were ready and willing to make it more realistic, which in reality creates a hot sex game for the two of you, not just her. You can even roleplay the different football players. When it's all over, she's hugging you for the amazing sex game you just gave the two of you. Tell me how you were feeling in the "ready for bed" mode, Ken. Did your orgasm make you sleepy and cuddly or was it also late and your energy was spent? What you both wrote is beautiful and I cant wait to blog it up.
I'm well aware that not all couples have the same level of readiness or eroticism and sexual expression that Ken and Joyce have. I do not utilize the same approach with those clients. This is an example of a couple that's ready for what you see here and on the link above. I work comfortably with clients all across the sexual readiness spectrum.