Pros and Cons of The Long Distance Relationships


Long distance relationships (LDRs) work for some
people, over long periods of time and great distances - but for others,
an LDR may as well be DOA (dead on arrival). Certain situations and
personalities may lend themselves to a successful LDR, while in some
cases, no matter how strong the feelings between the two people may be,
the distance proves too difficult to make the relationship last. If
you're considering entering into a long distance relationship, or if
you're wondering why yours didn't work out, we've compiled a list of
pros and cons for any LDR to help you assess whether to go the distance,
or to figure out why absence didn't necessarily make the heart grow
fonder. Take a look: 


Hold on to Your Freedom:
If you hate "clingy," LDRs might be right up your alley. The obligation
you often feel to be around someone when you're dating them can be
exhausting if it's not in your nature. At times, you may just not feel
like going out, and other times you may just want to be alone. These are
often fleeting moments, but can have disastrous consequences on your
love life, especially if the other party picks up your vibes of
neglection. An LDR gives you the chance to enjoy that independence with
little to no obligation to physically be near your significant other.
This is great for individuals who want to keep their individualism but
still want the occasional phone call to know that they're being thought

It's Always a
: Ever wonder why holidays feel so great? It's
because it happens so infrequently that you want them all the more. The
same can be applied when you finally do meet up with your LDR partner.
There's going to be so much to say/do and so little time, you'll feel
great finally getting your time with them. All the impatience and
anxiety you built up from not seeing them can really keep the fire lit
in the relationship. Every visit may feel like a honeymoon, which can be
great for people who want the good feelings without having to worry
about reality setting in.

You're "Taken": It's
nice to be flirted with, but sometimes you don't get the attention you
want when hitting the town. Let's face it - it's always a confidence
boost when you can lean on the special someone you're attached to, even
if they're in San Francisco and you're in New York. Not to mention,
you've got the ultimate excuse if you're not interested in
either the person or the outing... it's pretty easy to say you've got a
phone date and have to miss the birthday group dinner you've been


Tech Ties You Down:
Ironically enough, technology is actually going to hurt some of your
freedom. Technology like "unlimited texting" or webcam chat can tie you
down, even if you live across the country. You might be out with your
friends but feel as if you have to keep texting your
boyfriend/girlfriend because they keep texting you back. Being in an
LDR, you or your significant other might use this medium of
communication as a way to overcompensate for not being around.

What You Don't Know Can
Hurt You
: It's hard not to have trust issues when
you're in a LDR. Thoughts will constantly run through your head ("Who's
he going out with tonight?" "Who's that new friend she keeps talking
about?" "Why haven't I heard back from them?") All these and more will,
at some point, cross your mind. When you aren't around to keep tabs on
your significant other and get the reassurance you need, the level of
trust you place in them and the relationship must increase
exponentially, which can be taxing.

Relationship? What
: If you ask some couples, they'll tell you
to drop the "R" from LDR, stating that it simply isn't a relationship.
LDRs in some ways have it harder than normal relationships, but overall,
it's hard to feel that something is a real relationship if you don't
see each other very often. People who see each other on a constant basis
just go through more - they get tired of each other, run out of things
to say, argue, get upset at each other and more. Being in an LDR you
avoid a lot of this because to perfectly honest, there's just a
different dynamic over the phone and in person. At some point, you have
to ask yourself, is this real or just part-time?

Table For One...:
No amount of webcam chat or phone calls can make up for a person being
away. When it's all said and done, you'll still be on your own for much
of the time. At the end of the day, would you rather have phone calls
with your significant other while you microwave your individual portion
pizza, or would you be more satisfied with sitting across the dinner
table with someone else? Ask yourself if your time with this person
balances out any feelings of loneliness you may have. 

LDRs can be a blast, they can be fulfilling, and yes, they can
succeed. However, it takes a very special combination of personality
characteristics and relationship needs between two people to make it
work. You have to know what you're in for, and what to expect, and you
have to be prepared to go with the flow. If you understand that the
honeymoon won't last forever and you have to make sacrifices you
wouldn't make if you lived in the same town, you may be on your way to

Have you been in or heard of a Long Distance Relationship
working? What are some of the other advantages and disadvantages of
being in an LDR? Would YOU try it? 


Sunil is a native New Yorker. Growing up on a steady diet of John
Hughes films helped to shape the way he sees relationships and the
world at large.


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