If you're like most women you probably hold back during sex sometimes because you aren't 100 percent confident about the way your body looks. If you're the type who switches off the light and dives under the covers before your husband can see you, then you may be missing out. When you spend time worrying about what body parts may be too soft, too jiggly or just plain ol' too big, you end up ruining your own good time (and his).
Here's something to think about: those super-skinny girls usually don't have great sex lives. In fact, being skin and bones can leave you with a non-existent libido, a messed up menstrual cycle and other not-hot issues like hair loss and brittle bones.
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But no matter how many times your partner tells you that he likes your curves, that probably doesn't help to stop your inner-critic from chattering away. That's why we've come up with some concrete things you can try in bed tonight that will help you reduce your body inhibitions and increase your enjoyment of sex.
1. Find Your Best Light
Your first thought might be to have sex in the dark so you can hide, but actually, showcasing your body in soft, warm light (like from a candle or a dimmer switch) is a better option. Your man needs to see what you look like to get turned on and good lighting can disguise any wrinkles, dimples or pimples you might be worried about.
"Think of candlelight or soft illumination as highlighting your best assets and creating a more romantic vibe," says Amy Levine, sex coach, certified sexuality educator and founder of sexedsolutions.com. "Not to mention, it makes for a more intimate connection with your mate when you can both 'see' the visual cues that each of you find to be a turn-on."
2. Wear (The Right) Lingerie
Instead of donning those oversized PJs, it's time to invest in a few pieces of lingerie that make you feel great about your body. Not all lingerie has to include cut-outs and unflattering butt floss. For example this ruffle-front babydoll has lined cups and normal bikini panties that will make you feel both sexy and supported.
"We are often our own worst critics," says Logan Levkoff, a certified sex educator and author of "Third Base Ain't What it Used to Be." "Our partners aren't as critical; they love our curves. We spend so much time covering up that we can forget what we actually look like. It's time to get back in touch with your body."
3. Assume New Positions
Although missionary style makes you the least visible to your lover, different positions can actually give you great angles. For example, in woman-on-top, you can push your shoulders back, elongate your stomach muscles and give your lover a full and flattering view. In side-by-side, when you're facing away from him, you can stretch out and look long and lean.
"Think about your favorite body parts, and match them to a position that puts them front and center," says Levine. "If it's the tush, try [getting on all fours]. If it's your breasts, try woman-on-top. And remember, there's nothing like being in the driver's seat and feeling in control to boost your sexual self-esteem."
4. Don't Apologize