Thirteen reasons you should ditch your "never take an ex back" policy.
John Mayer has been trying to make Jennifer Aniston his girlfriend again. They always come back, don't they ladies? First he dumped her via text message last August (ouch!) and then, after a brief reunion, broke up with her again in March. Apparently, now John has been begging her for another chance. The balladeer has gone boo-hoo for his Hollywood honey. The Frisky: The 10 Lies Men And Women Tell Most Often
Sure, our own Erin and conventional wisdom say that in life you only get one chance. But in love, there are no rules. However, there is good advice, not to mention learning from your mistakes. That's why I'm going to share with you the biggest relationship mistake I ever made.
I used to have a "never take an ex back" policy. It stopped me from making plenty of mistakes, like bad ex sex, dropping cash I didn't have on a bikini wax, and becoming the victim of sheer drunken douchebaggery. Some guys you just get over and there's no need for a do-over. But I've only ever loved one man and after we broke up, he tried to make it work again for months. I, on the other hand, was still in love with him too, but refused to break my own childish rule— no take-backs. Why didn't I give us one more shot? At the very least, I wasn't done letting him hurt me. At the very most, well, now he's married to someone else. The Frisky: 7 Ways Men Try To Impress Women (And Why They Don't Work)
Now I'm left with "what if?" questions. What if I'll never love any other man as much? What if I never have sex as good again? What if he was THE ONE? And my personal favorite: What if I'm going to die alone now? Even more excruciating and existential is the other side of the coin: Am I inflating who he is and what we had? Has he been martyred because he was the one that got away? Not giving yourself another chance is like opening a Pandora's Box of second-guessing yourself. OK, so I kept my pride, but so what? It didn't get me what I wanted—him. And all I had to lose was a little bit more time spent trying to figure things out between us. Unfortunately, now I'm stuck with a lifetime of wondering "what if?"
OK, so maybe even if my ex and I had gotten back together, it probs wouldn't have worked out. In that case, I'd have ruined the delicious fantasy of him for good. Sad, sure, but maybe that's just what I needed to move on. And hey, makeup sex can be worth the hassle of a do-over. The Frisky: 8 So-Called "Chivalrous" Moves That Creep Us Out
I'm here to help you not make the same mistake I did. While you don't owe every dude you've done a second chance, there are those select few who you just have to give it to. However, before you go re-welcoming them with open arms, you have to think about what exactly you're going to also have to embrace about him. Is he worth a second or—in Jen and John's case—a third time around? Here's how you can see if he's worth giving another shot:
1. Day McDreamy: If you think about the dude everyday, or even a couple times a week, you're sooooo not done with him.
2. BF & BFF: Your pals still want to be his friend. If they're still rooting for him, maybe you should be too.