The Unsexy Way To Release Emotional Steam And Feel Better Instantly
Find the confidence to let it all out, even when it feels ugly or scary.
Stock Unit / Shutterstock It seems like I have been having quite a few frustrating days at work, lately. Not to mention everything that is going on with life at home. Working remotely, it seems like I now do more with less time, and the days just blend together.
And recently, well ... let’s just say I was pushed to the edge.
I literally felt like my toes were at the edge of the cliff and I wanted to leap off. But that's probably not the best way to handle things.
So I drove to one of my favorite locations, stepped out of the car and walked to the edge. I slowly raised my arms in the air, took a deep breath, and let out a quiet scream.
Where the stress comes from — and where it goes
We have so much information coming in every day, from the media, emails, and trying to keep up with friends and family. Innovation is great, and it allows us to be connected 24/7 but is that necessarily a good thing? We have created an expectation that we can be reached at any time regardless of where we are and what we are doing. And, if we don’t reply to a text, email, or phone call in a ridiculous amount of time — we have committed a crime.
There is not much room for us to disconnect and slow down. We just keep receiving information, requests, and things to do. But, after a while, it can take you to a breaking point. We are taught to respond to all the noise but we are not taught what to do when it overwhelms and consumes us. If we are taught what to do, it must conform to a certain image, especially one of how a woman should behave. Or, we are simply told to “suck it up buttercup” or “just deal with it”.
This type of response can take a toll on you physically, mentally, and evenly emotionally. As it all builds up inside, you just want to explode, but being the lady you are, you hold it all in and suffer in silence.
There are many successful leaders and business owners who experience high levels of stress every day and appear to have it together. I am sure they have their share of emotions and ups and downs, come on how could they not when building multi-million dollar businesses? But then, how are they able to do it and still stay sane?
According to an Inc.com article by Kelly Main, Steve Jobs, an avid proponent and practitioner of yoga and meditation, used scream therapy as a way to release all the pinned-up emotions and baggage he carried with him. And, he probably carried a lot.
Screaming is not only about anger
You may have seen scenes in movies where the main character is angry and just lets it out all screaming at the top of their lungs. It gives a depiction that it’s all about anger and almost gives it a negative connotation. However, scream therapy is so much more than dealing with anger. It allows you the moments to let go of what you have been hanging on to that may have been directly or indirectly, consciously or unconsciously, affecting you and how you live life.
When you stop to scream, you can get a dopamine hit that will have a greater impact than you might realize. You are able to release some of the stress you have been holding onto. The problems you may have been dealing with are still there but, by using scream therapy, you give yourself a moment to clear your head and mind.
Give yourself permission to feel — even if it feels loud
You also give yourself permission to feel what you have been keeping buried down inside. These may be emotions that you have been avoiding or putting off dealing with. Instead of facing your recent breakup, you dove into your work and the emotions lay dormant. Or, you are not truly happy at work or in your relationship but you just keep going and going.
However, the emotional baggage continues to build up and will one day consume you. The end result may not be a good one. Scream therapy allows you to let go of the emotional baggage, lifting the dark cloud that has been blocking your view.
Scream therapy isn't sexy
You may be thinking that screaming from the top of your lungs is not a very sexy thing to do. It’s like how most of us don’t look pretty when we cry.
However, scream therapy can empower you, leaving you feeling relieved, stronger, energized, and ready to tackle what you must tackle. That empowerment will make you feel better about yourself and, maybe even just a little sexy.
Back to my quiet scream from before. I think I was still worried about what other people would think. After all, I do “scream ugly."
But I felt the corners of my lips turn up into a small smile so I figured, let’s try this again. This time, the scream was a lot louder and I did it again. I started laughing like I hadn’t laughed in years, and it felt good. Really good.
Carolyn Owens is a best-selling author and master certified (MCC) executive and a leadership and mentor coach. She has over 25 years of experience working with top leaders in leadership and professional development.