13 Brutal Truths About Loving A Woman Who Always Wears Black
From a little black dress to a classic leather jacket, there's truly no better color.
SHOTPRIME | Floral Deco | Canva It doesn't matter what event we're hitting up next; a black wardrobe is always on our agenda. Despite popular belief, our love of black attire has nothing to do with our mood and everything to do with how comfortable we're feeling that day.
From a little black dress to a classic black leather jacket, this color is a staple (or the vast majority) of any wardrobe. All the cutest clothes come in black, so why wouldn't we get them in that color? Nothing says fashionable like a black turtleneck with black jeans and matching black sunglasses. In fact, that's actually what I'm wearing right now. Can you guess what my favorite color is?
The color black is not just a great color to wear. It also represents protection, power, wealth and sophistication. Who wouldn't want that?
These are just a few of the things you need to understand about falling in love with a woman who wears black All. Of. The. Time. We might even wear a black wedding dress. Paint our bedroom walls black. Maybe don't let us be interior designers.
Here are 13 truths about loving a woman who always wears black:
1. We're not angry at the world
We're just angry about almost everything else.
2. But maybe we actually are?
Cue the evil laughter.
3. We're not goth
Or are we?
4. We always miraculously look five pounds thinner
Because of the black, duh.
(Actually, according to science, black does make you appear slimmer — and it has to do with the way our eyes absorb darker colors.)
5. We can literally buy any accessory we want
Everything matches with black. What's easier than that?
6. Same goes for heels
Don't you love the sound of heels on a hardwood floor?
7. Same goes for eyeshadow
Every palette works, honey! And no smokey eye is complete without a black shadow.
8. Getting ready in the morning takes seconds
It takes SECONDS, people. There are so many fewer choices to be made when you already know which color is the best.
9. Snow white pale or J. Lo glow: both work
Both skin types work for us.
10. We're never not chic
Black never goes out of style.
11. We can attend a funeral in seconds
This is a grim thought, but, hey, at least we're prepared.
12. Don't call us Wednesday Addams
We're not that dark and disturbing ... probably.
13. Yes, black is a summer color
Black is always in season.
Can you see why wearing black is our entire personality? Because it is. It's not just about clothes but how the clothes make us feel. And when we feel good, you feel good.
Alex Alexander is a pseudonym. The author of this article is known to YourTango but is choosing to remain anonymous.