A Man Says His Height Shouldn't Matter In A Relationship & Asks Women Why They Care
How tall are you? It shouldn't matter, but studies show that is really does.
TikTok & DFree, sirtravelalot/Shutterstock, Giuseppe Ramos via CanvaPro How tall are you? I only ask because a viral TikTok video is stirring the age-old debate surrounding societal beauty standards and, more specifically, why height matters to so many people in relationships.
So how tall are you? Is the first thought that enters your head just the answer to the question, or is it “why does it matter?” Well, depending on several factors including your gender, your preferences, and really just what you value overall in someone’s outward appearance (if anything at all), you might have a different answer. But one thing seems to be clear — height matters.
Studies show that women and men care about height in their relationships, even if they shouldn’t.
According to a Psychology Today article, there are at least 5 (psychological) reasons why women and men care about height so much. It shouldn’t even be a question of whether or not people care — they do. If you’ve ever been on a dating app, social media, or even outside, you know that height seems to matter to a lot of people, and Psychology Today pinned down why in their 2019 article.
It seems like the biggest reason is simply preference. According to one study, “Women are most satisfied when their partner was 8 inches (21cm) taller,” but it’s not just women — men answered that they were also more satisfied when they were at least 3 inches taller.
Photo: Mike_shots/Shutterstock
A separate study regarding preference showed that only 13.5 percent of men preferred to only date women shorter than them while 48.9 percent of women preferred to only date men taller than them — a shocking difference.
They even covered why this seems to be, with studies showing that people simply found shorter people less attractive than taller people — researchers stated that “shortness is more of a liability than tallness is an asset.”
But this doesn’t precisely cover why this sort of beauty standard exists. Why is it that shorter people are perceived as less attractive? What is the reason? Why does someone hold this preference? Well, one man on TikTok sought to put that question to the test and asked hundreds of thousands of women why it seemed to matter so much to them.
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He asked women to answer why height matters to them while staying body positive.
“Ladies, I’ll give you my height, my weight, my social security number, my home address, my phone number, the login to my TikTok — whatever you guys want,” Mario Mirante says in his TikTok. “All I ask in return is that one of y’all stitch this video and explain to the world why height matters to you in a relationship.”
He says that the only rule is, they have to remain body positive — and thousands of women gave their answers. The video, posted May 15, 2023, received over 12,000 comments with women answering why height mattered so much to them.
“Heels. To wear heels,” read the top comment. A second comment claimed, “I can't reach the top shelf.” Other women claimed that it was either because they were also tall or they were too short and wanted their children to have a “fighting chance.” But a lot of women also claimed that when they were the taller person in their past relationships, the men made it an issue.
It seems like a neverending cycle, and while Mario did rip into the women who claimed that they would miss out on an entire person in order to wear some shoes that made them taller, he does explain that it’s okay to have a preference. What isn’t okay, however, is completely turning someone away because of something that is out of their control — emphasizing this for both men and women.
He talks about how a friend he once had was ridiculed his whole life because of his height and how it eventually led to alcoholism, depression, and ultimately taking his own life. He believes it’s cruel to turn someone away for the things they can’t control, and was praised for touching on such a painful yet important subject that is regularly talked about in a society that prioritizes appearances over compassion.
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.