New Mom Upset That Her Husband Was Going Golfing On Mother’s Day — He Explained ‘My Mom Doesn’t Even Live Here’
"My dad treated my mom like a queen on Mother’s Day. I’m not settling anymore.”
Antoniodiaz / Shutterstock.com Who is Mother’s Day really for? Is it for your mom who raised you, that aunt who made sure you had a motherly figure in your life, or the spouse who just had a baby? Maybe it’s all, none of them, or just one?
New mothers, grandparents, and even partners have weighed in on the debate. While many argue there's a clear line between “right and wrong” in policing Mother’s Day celebrations, many admit they usually just go with the flow.
It’s exactly what Jacky Bertholomey's husband did — he went with the flow. Unfortunately, it took him to the golf course with his friends on Mother’s Day.
Bertholomey was upset after her husband decided to golf on Mother’s Day.
In a shadily hostile TikTok from May 8 — just four days out from Mother’s Day — Bertholomey reflected back on her first holiday as a new mom.
Anticipating a card or maybe breakfast in bed, when the day actually rolled around, she was met with unnerving disappointment.
Her husband was packing up his things to go golfing. Not only were no flowers on the table or celebrations planned, her husband wasn’t even going to prioritize quality time with his family.
Many commenters reflected on their own days of early motherhood, agreeing they’d be furious if their husband dismissed them on Mother’s Day.
Bertholomey seems to have gotten over the disastrous holiday, but she couldn't help but reflect on her husband's assumptions about Mother’s Day. He clearly only envisioned it as a celebration of his own mother rather than the mother of his newborn child.
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For many, that assumption seemed outlandish, but others shared their experiences with their own spouses, who unfortunately feel the same way. “I asked my husband if we could celebrate the day together, and he said, ‘I’m not his mom, so no’ ... I’m flabbergasted,” one person wrote.
“I remember my mom telling me she had to explain this to my dad after her first Mother’s Day with me,” another admitted. “He’s made up for it since and felt horrible, but it’s insane that this is a common thought amongst men.”
Many people argued they never considered Mother’s Day a celebration ‘for all moms.’
“I had no idea there was a disagreement about this,” creator Neil Shyminsky said on TikTok. “In my experience, Mother’s Day has always been a celebration of a mother with an actual child. So if you’re a partner to a mother with a small child, you should be celebrating [them].”
While Shyminsky's assumption about Mother’s Day — likely cemented by his own parents' relationship growing up — supported Bertholomey’s anger about her husband golfing, it stirred up an even more passionate debate about who the holiday should be for.
Many other young moms suggested Mother’s Day should never be about in-laws or grandparents but rather the mothers currently “in the trenches” with young children. “By all means, send your mother’s flowers,” Miranda Cornelious said on TikTok.
She argued, “They don’t get left out, but they’ve had their time.”
Surprisingly or not, many creators have passionate opinions about Mother’s Day online, including the grandparents many people are dismissing. Despite not having young children, they still support their adult children who are raising them. Whether babysitting on weekends or picking them up from school, is that not as commendable on Mother’s Day?
Unless it’s a situation of toxic mothers or absent parents, Mother’s Day should celebrate motherhood, connection, and love, whether you’re changing diapers or not.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.