8 Essential Traits Of A Keeper

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What do you look for in a marriageable man?

YourTango conducted a survey of over 100 mental health professionals to learn what it takes for a man to be considered "husband material." According to the results, the top three traits marriage-oriented people look for in a man are: his ability to communicate, honesty and reliability. So, besides these three fairly obvious characteristics, what else matters in a potential life partner? We queried the experts to find out:

1. You can be yourself when you're with him.  You don't feel like you have to change your quirky laugh or be less ambitious. You're not afraid to show how smart you are because he truly loves you as you are. He fell in love with "who you were when he met you" and continues to love those same traits as the relationship progresses. —Christine Baumgartner


2. You like how you feel when you’re around him. You feel safe, secure, and cared about because his attitude around you is consistent and dependable. You also feel comfortable, relaxed and happy when you're with him because you have learned . —Christine Baumgartner

3. He has introduced you to his friends and family. He wants to include you in all parts of his life because he's proud of the relationship he has with you. He's committed to making sure you feel included and this shows you that; he doesn’t have anything to hide and he's serious about your relationship to want everyone in his life to know you're together. —Christine Baumgartner

4. He makes it obvious your happiness and well-being are very important to him. He listens and remembers when you tell him what makes you happy and goes out of his way to accomplish it. He puts your needs in front of his.  —Christine Baumgartner

5. He knows the difference between a conversation and a confrontation, between compromise and contentiousness. This quality leaves room for a difference of opinion without having an outburst or a sulk-fest. Compromise can take many forms: a little of what you like, a little of what I like; this time your way, next time my way; can we meet in the middle. However you phrase it, being willing and able to converse and compromise is an important quality in a "keeper." —Diane Spear

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Christine Baumgartner

Dating Coach

I believe you want to love and be loved. And if the love you desire and deserve isn't currently in your life, then let's talk so you can turn the “work” of love into play by putting in place the right techniques for you to finally bring that love into your life.

I know (because it's how I met and married my husband) that once you become The Perfect Catch you'll definitely attract The Perfect Catch.

Christine Baumgartner

Dating and Relationship Expert

The Perfect Catch



Location: Laguna Niguel, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Life Transitions, Marriage

Diane Spear, LCSW-R


Diane Spear, LCSW-R, is a NYC-based psychotherapist who helps couples and individuals throughout the world find the joy in everyday life! She has been in practice since 1995, working with older adolescents up through older adults. Check out her website at www.dianespeartherapy.com to learn more about her therapy and counseling practice and couples and relationship therapy; and be sure to read her blog.

Connect with Diane through email here, or call 212-353-0296


Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LCSW-R
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Life Transitions
Advanced Member

Ms. Moreah Vestan


Moreah Vestan, M. A.

Come visit my website Pleasures and  Ponderings

Check out my  website Communication Coaching

Visit my blog Pleasures and Ponderings

Location: Seattle, WA
Credentials: BA, MA
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support
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