Looking for love after divorce can be daunting. Our experts can help!
We asked 105 mental health professionals the following question: How long should a parent wait before starting to date again after a divorce? The plurality of experts agree that there's no [time] requirement; as soon as they'd like is just fine.
Still, while it's up to parents to use their best judgment about when to start dating again, there are some rules all divorcés should follow when it comes to revving up the romance again. Here they are, in no particular order:
1. Pamper yourself. Divorce is stressful and can take a lot out of you, especially your self-esteem. Treat yourself to a weekend getaway or spa day. Remember, you are worth it! —Marla Martenson
2. Stay connected ... to your female friends for company and support, but stay clear of "male bashing." Keep the conversations positive. Putting down your ex or rehashing old hurts will only keep you in a negative and depressed state if mind. —Marla Martenson
3. Get out and try new things. Trying one new thing per month will give you confidence in yourself and you never know who you might meet. —Marla Martenson
4. Be a leader (not a hunter). A hunter is someone that follows or pursues someone else. It is a short-lived ego boost for the hunted, but ultimately not attractive (you're too easy to get). A leader, however, creates value because he/she has a full life, his time is scarce. You are perceived as being a challenge to get your time and attention, thus, making you more desirable. —Divorced Guys
5. Start now. Why? There are a three reasons. First, to practice dating, getting ready when it will really matters; second, get comfortable around romantic prospects again — it's like working out, you have to get back into "dating shape"; third, it builds your self-confidence, improving your appeal! —Divorced Guys
Want to learn more? Check out Divorce Survival Guide!
More divorce advice from YourTango Experts:
- Will Men Date Divorced Women?
- 9 Love Lessons I Learned From My Divorce
- How Do I Know I'm Ready To Start Dating After A Divorce?