Our culture promotes sex everywhere from magazine covers to product advertisements. When sex sells, it sets us up to objectify ourselves and others. When we objectify someone, we really don't see the other person. We lose out on the most intimate loving parts of a relationship and we look to magazines, books and blogs to help us get the relationship we've always wanted. What we fail to realize is that the best person to consult about our beauty is ourselves.
As a mental health counselor, I encounter many people who are uncomfortable discussing their self-image and sexuality with their partners. This shame scares people from sharing their true selves with another person. This fear gets in the way of developing healthy self-esteem. But when a person owns her innermost self — and is happy with who she is — she projects a beauty radiating with confidence (and that's sexy). People naturally are drawn to those who make them feel good. Healthy sexuality and intimacy is about having the courage to love and be loved in return. Here are some ways in which people benefit from sex:
1. Having a healthy attitude about your sexuality promotes beauty from within. Experts say, "a sexually healthy person is someone who feels comfortable with his or her sexuality." This means, a person doesn't view sex as something naughty, bad, improper or sinful and can engage in it without feeling guilty or anxious. When you're comfortable with who you are on the inside, your attractiveness is infectious on the outside. Others want to be around you and have what you have. The movie Shallow Hal is a good example of physically portraying a woman's inner beauty. Hal only dated women who were physically beautiful. One day, however, he gets hypnotized to recognize only the inner beauty of women. Hal then meets a grossly obese woman and all he can see is her inner beauty. Beauty from within comes from feeling good about you.
2. Physical attractiveness is based on what people see. This has to do with genetics and how you take care of yourself. Sure, you can't change your genes, but maintaining good hygiene and dressing well go a long way. You probably are not going to be as attractive in sweats and a dirty T-shirt as you would be in a fashionable dress and nice shoes. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with sweats and a dirty T-shirt, it's just not as sexy. Pay attention to how you style your hair or carry yourself and you'll start to see how others perceive you differently. Keep reading...
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