How Talking To Your Partner Can Save Your Sex Life

By

How Talking To Your Partner Can Save Your Sex Life [EXPERT]
Learn why communication is the key to satisfying sex!

Did you know that those who live in the Midwest are more sexually satisfied than the rest of the country?

According to a recent Men's Health survey, Midwestern cities took the top four spots on the list of the ten most sexually satisfied cities in America. Number one on the list was Indianapolis, IN and number two was our very own Columbus, OH.

No matter where you live, we ask you this: How sexually satisfied are you? Whether you are in a committed, long-term relationship or you tend toward casual, romantic encounters, are you pleased with the sex that you're having? 

A different survey conducted recently, by Wakefield Research, indicated that there are a lot of people out there who are not satisfied with the sex they are having. In fact, this study claims that 51% of sexually active adults in the U.S. want the sex they're having to either last longer or be shorter in duration. 

While sex isn't all there is to a happy and healthy love relationship or marriage, it is important. There is a level of intimacy and connection, not to mention pleasure, that gets lost when sex isn't absolutely enjoyed by both people.

What happens when sex isn't satisfying? This varies for every person, of course, but there can be frustration, irritation, resentment and outright anger when one (or both) people are dissatisfied with the sex in the relationship.

Affairs and breakups can be the result. Even if the couple stays together, and resigns themselves to "dull" or "bad" sex, the relationship can shift from one of passion to one of friendship.

There's nothing wrong with looking at your spouse or romantic partner as merely a roommate, co-parent or even your best friend, but don't you want more? You don't have to settle for unsatisfying sex and you don't have to look outside your relationship for the pleasure and sexual connection you seek, either. 

The tricky thing about sex is that it's uncomfortable to talk about. We're not referring to phone sex or literally having sex with your words (although those can be fun!). We're referring to talking about sex with your partner.

Many people don't know how to ask for more of what they like and less of what they don't like and so they end up not saying anything at all. They lay back and hope it's over quickly. Or, they fake orgasm and pretend that they loved the sex, even though they didn't. 

In the meantime, there is a growing discontent and feeling that "shouldn't this be more enjoyable?" A delicious opportunity for connection and passion is lost and the couple becomes farther apart than before. Sex Video: How Often Do Healthy Couples Have Sex?

More sex advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
Other Articles/News by Susie & Otto Collins:

Keeping Score Kills Love: 5 Ways To Change This Dynamic

By

We've all been there. Your partner has put you off, let you down or totally messed up so many times, you have a running tally going and it only fuels your irritation and anger. One woman posted on Reddit a spreadsheet her husband actually created and sent to her that listed off every excuse she'd given him over the past month for not having sex. He ... Read more

Stress And The State Of Your Relationship

By

Unfortunately, we Americans have become “accomplished” at creating stressful lives for ourselves. A recent nationwide stress survey conducted by NPR, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, and the Harvard School of Medicine asked people how stressed they've been lately and what they do when they're stressed out. Researchers for this study found ... Read more

Can't Trust Because Of Your Ex?

By

You don't trust your partner and there's no good reason for it. You know this, but you can't seem to change it. You check his phone. You shadow her to keep her "safe from creeps." You're constantly anxious and afraid that your partner will cheat... Even though there's no evidence to support your fears. You ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB