How Talking To Your Partner Can Save Your Sex Life

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How Talking To Your Partner Can Save Your Sex Life [EXPERT]
Learn why communication is the key to satisfying sex!

Did you know that those who live in the Midwest are more sexually satisfied than the rest of the country?

According to a recent Men's Health survey, Midwestern cities took the top four spots on the list of the ten most sexually satisfied cities in America. Number one on the list was Indianapolis, IN and number two was our very own Columbus, OH.

No matter where you live, we ask you this: How sexually satisfied are you? Whether you are in a committed, long-term relationship or you tend toward casual, romantic encounters, are you pleased with the sex that you're having? 

A different survey conducted recently, by Wakefield Research, indicated that there are a lot of people out there who are not satisfied with the sex they are having. In fact, this study claims that 51% of sexually active adults in the U.S. want the sex they're having to either last longer or be shorter in duration. 

While sex isn't all there is to a happy and healthy love relationship or marriage, it is important. There is a level of intimacy and connection, not to mention pleasure, that gets lost when sex isn't absolutely enjoyed by both people.

What happens when sex isn't satisfying? This varies for every person, of course, but there can be frustration, irritation, resentment and outright anger when one (or both) people are dissatisfied with the sex in the relationship.

Affairs and breakups can be the result. Even if the couple stays together, and resigns themselves to "dull" or "bad" sex, the relationship can shift from one of passion to one of friendship.

There's nothing wrong with looking at your spouse or romantic partner as merely a roommate, co-parent or even your best friend, but don't you want more? You don't have to settle for unsatisfying sex and you don't have to look outside your relationship for the pleasure and sexual connection you seek, either. 

The tricky thing about sex is that it's uncomfortable to talk about. We're not referring to phone sex or literally having sex with your words (although those can be fun!). We're referring to talking about sex with your partner.

Many people don't know how to ask for more of what they like and less of what they don't like and so they end up not saying anything at all. They lay back and hope it's over quickly. Or, they fake orgasm and pretend that they loved the sex, even though they didn't. 

In the meantime, there is a growing discontent and feeling that "shouldn't this be more enjoyable?" A delicious opportunity for connection and passion is lost and the couple becomes farther apart than before. So, How Can I Tell If My Sex Life Is Normal?

More sex advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Susie & Otto Collins

Author

Susie and Otto Collins are relationship coaches and authors who help couples communicate, connect and create the passionate relationships they desire.



 

Location: Columbus, OH
Credentials: BS, CCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues
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