50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex
ProConnect

Can Type A and Type B Co-Exist?

By

Can Type A and Type B Co-Exist?

One of the coolest things about being in a committed relationship is having someone to grow old with, someone with whom you share so many memories that sitting in the rockers on the porch won’t be boring at all, you’ll have so much to talk about. Equally as cool is how, if you open your mind and heart, your sweetheart can teach you things you might not otherwise ever learn, and can even help you be a better person.

My sweetheart Dale and I are alike in many ways—the same sense of humor, a love of adventure travel, the same political views, an enjoyment of good food. We also have a very fundamental difference. I’m a Type A he’s definitely a Type B. In summary, here’s how Wikipedia describes the two:

More from YourTango: Marriage: Use It Or Lose It

Type A individuals are impatient, time-conscious, have difficulty relaxing, high-achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about delays.

Type B individuals are patient, relaxed and easy-going, generally lacking an overriding sense of urgency.

It should come as no surprise, then, that timeliness (or in Dale’s case, the lack of it!) has been an issue in our relationship. In fact, it was my effort to “fix” him that ultimately resulted in my writing my book Frequent Foreplay Miles. Anyhoo, Rewind the tape back to when we were on our way to an early evening BBQ. I was contributing the salad and we were running late. As I’m glancing at my watch to see just how late we were, Dale pulled off to the side of the road and said, “Wow, look how the afternoon light is falling on the hillside. It’s so beautiful, let’s just enjoy the view for a moment.” What? Was he kidding? Just as I was about to open my mouth to point out we were late and had no time for this silliness, I glanced over at the hillside and, you know what, it was beautiful. I forced myself to zip it and enjoy the view with him. After a few minutes, we were on our way and the salad delivered in plenty of time. That was a pivotal moment for me and I wondered how many other beautiful sights I had missed because of my rush through life. Perhaps, I thought, it was time to see the world more through Dale’s eyes. While I’ve still got those Type A tendencies and I still rush him along at times, I’ve learned that there are other times, many times, when tapping into my inner Type B makes my life healthier, more enjoyable and more beautiful. My sweetheart taught me to relax and to see beauty I would otherwise have missed. Wow.

Too many people trash their relationship by trying to make their partner their clone, insisting that their way is the one and only right way. Sure, I could have badgered and nagged Dale into being the clock Nazi I was and, believe me, I did plenty of that in the beginning, arguing that his being late was arrogant and self-centered. Then one day it hit me: it was arrogant and self-centered of me to expect him to become my clone on this issue. Now, I don’t demand perfection and, because he understands how important timeliness is to me, he pays more attention to the clock when it’s truly necessary to be on time. I win. He wins. Our relationship wins.

More from YourTango: From DSK To Duke Lacrosse: Do We Charge Rape Too Quickly?

Your differences can be the source of constant irritation or, if you open your mind and heart, they can be the source of growth and greater closeness.

Shela Dean
Relationship Coach, Speaker & Bestselling Author
http://www.ShelaDean.com
http://www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Shela Dean

Author

Shela Dean Relationship Coach, Speaker and Amazon Bestselling Author of Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy http://www.ShelaDean.com http://www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com http://www.SpeakerShelaDean.com

Location: Richmond, VA
Credentials: JD
Other Articles/News by Shela Dean:

Help! My Kids Are Spoiled Brats

By

As a parent, you did everything right. You taught your kids to say please and thank you; you taught them to share their toys and wait their turn in line. So, how did they become such spoiled little monsters? If your precious angels are out of control, you've come to the right place. In this video, author, relationship coach and YourTango Expert Shela ... Read more

How Can I Fall Back In Love With My Husband?

By

If you've been married for many years, you know how difficult it can be to keep the spark alive. Still, romance is an essential ingredient in every marriage, so it's important for every couple to find a way to fall in love over and over again. In this video, author, relationship coach and YourTango Expert Shela Dean explains how you can rekindle your ... Read more

Help! My Ex Wants Custody Of Our Kids Out Of Spite

By

If you've been through a custody battle, you know how hard it can be on the kids ... and it isn't easy on the grown-ups either. But what do you do when you know that your ex doesn't really want custody, he's only fighting for it to spite you? Fortunately. Shela Dean is here to help. In this video, author, relationship coach and YourTango ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Cuffs

Emotional Vampires: Skills for Dealing with the Narcissist

Expert, Margaret Jacobson shares insights gained from Albert Bernstein's, book Emotional Vampires

Smooches

One-liners Guaranteed to Turn Up the Heat

Want some off the hook sex tonight? Use words as foreplay!

Make A Move

Forgiveness : The Most Important "F-Word".

Forgive so that the past no longer holds you back. It is time to move forward.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS