Shela Dean - Author, Relationship Coach, Speaker/Presenter, YourTango Expert Partner - Richmond, VA
Advanced Member

Shela Dean (JD)


Contact information

Email me

Phone 804.332.5323

Fax: sheladean1

If there's one thing I love to do, it's help couples have better, happier, more intimate relationships. I'm in a happy marriage. But I wasn't always. I've been in the wrong relationships for the wrong reasons. I learned many lessons the hard way and it's my fervent desire that others learn from my mistakes.

Coaching is my second career, one that followed naturally from my first career of 20+ years as an estate and family attorney. I know. To many people "Attorney as Relationship Coach" is an oxymoron. But the nature of an estate planning practice is such that I had long-term, very close working relationships with many of my clients. I worked with couples of all ages and at all stages of life. As part of my practice, I found myself faced with a myriad of issues having to do not just with legal matters but also with how couples relate to each other. Like doctors, attorneys are often the only ones outside a relationship to know when things are bad and getting ready to crack. I saw the impact of both big and small issues on relationships: everything from birth and death, addiction, infidelity, and illness, to who put the dent in the car or burned the toast that morning. I was called on to counsel my clients at critical and often stressful points in their lives: marriage, divorce, a loved one's death, loss of health or wealth, the blending of families.

Because I felt I needed to understand the dynamics of relationships (and wanted a great relationship myself), I studied everything I could get my hands on to become an expert. Before long, I was counseling my clients on personal matters as well as on legal matters. Sharing the wisdom gained in those 20 years along with my personal marriage experience is now my life's work. I help couples have more intimacy in all areas of their life--in and out of the bedroom.

I approach coaching with humor and common sense practicality. How I work with couples is summed up by Libby Gill in the foreword to my first book like this: "Shela has an uncanny ability to make complex concepts easy to understand and even easier to apply to everyday life. Her practical meat-and-potatoes approach, combined with humor and insight, and capped off with a 'cut to the chase' energy, makes it fun to embark on her . . . relationship improvement course."

I hope that I can connect with you too.

The Reason I Became A Helping Professional

The human urge to mate is compelling. Given that, you'd think Mother Nature would have been more generous in doling out relationship survival skills. But, we're left to figure it all out by ourselves. I failed at marriage before I succeeded at marriage. I know the heartache of failure and the joy of success. I hope that hearing my story, my thoughts, and my strategy (one that worked for my sweetheart and me) will help others skip the failure and go straight to success.

Shela Dean

Additional Details

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Shela Dean

Payment Options

Accepts Credit Cards:


Accepts Insurance:


Accepts Paypal:


Sliding Scale:


Fee Range:

Determined case-by-case, please inquire

Shela Dean

Quick Stats



Time in Practice:

6-10 years

I practice in:

All areas, please inquire

Additional Expertise:

Relationship Coach


YourTango Expert Partner

I offer my services:

At my office


By Email

Willing To Meet in Public Locations like Starbucks (please inquire)

Via Skype

Via a webcam

Licence information:

Expiration 12/31/14
Number 83245

Articles by Shela Dean
Why An Annulment Doesn't Really Erase Your Marriage

Why An Annulment Doesn't Really Erase Your Marriage

Don't delude yourself into believing your marriage never happened like these celebrities.

Marriage: The Reasons You Should (And Shouldn't) Get Married

What Is The Point Of Getting Married?

You can make a pros and cons list...but ultimately you know what works best for you.

No Love

Marriage: Use It Or Lose It

Your marriage is your most valuable asset but if you don't use it, you'll lose it.

dominique strauss-kahn

From DSK To Duke Lacrosse: Do We Charge Rape Too Quickly?

Are prosecutors too quick to charge rape in high-profile cases like Dominique Strauss-Kahn's?


How To Make A Genuine Apology

An apology needs to validate feelings, show accountability, and give assurance it won't happen again

Check Out My New Book
frequent foreplay miles, Your Ticket To Total Intimacy
Want more WOW in your relationship-in and out ...
By Shela Dean

Shela Dean

All Specialties

Couples/Marital Issues