I decided to write this article on the sex secrets that your man will never tell you because it's true: there really are aspects of sex that your man will almost never talk to you about. So today I want to explain these sex secrets to you so that you can better understand your man's wants and needs.
(P.S. If you want to learn my best dirty talking tips & techniques, you’ll find them in this powerful video)
More from YourTango: How To Finger Yourself To Orgasm: 5 Self Pleasure Tips
1. Yes He Wants You To Act Like A Crazy Pornstar, But...
There is a stereotype floating around in popular culture that all guys want their girlfriend or wife to act like a sex crazed pornstar. The funny thing is that for 90% of guys, this is TRUE! But this comes with one very crucial caveat of information. They may want you to act like a sex crazed pornstar, but only every once in a while. Like once a week, once every two weeks or even just once every couple of months.
Perhaps you even feel the same about your man? Perhaps you wish that every once in a while he could really 'bring the fire' into the bedroom? Now when I say, 'Sex Crazed Pornstar', I really just mean being more passionate and amorous with your man than you usually are. So how can you bring the passion? Here are a few tips:
- Initiate: If your man is the one that usually initiates sex, then every once in a while, surprise him by being the one that initiates foreplay and sex with him.
- Sex Toys: Another great way to spice things up, increase the passion and bring out your inner pornstar is to add some sex toys to your sex life. It could start out with something as simple as massage oil, but don't stop there: toys like vibrators, dildos and even restraints can really heat things up too.
- What You Wear: I probably don't even have to mention this as I'm not even sure if this could be classified as a sex secret, but guys are massively turned on by what they see. So use it to your advantage. If you usually wear pyjamas or other 'regular' night wear, why not try out something sexier, slinkier and more revealing. It's one of the easiest & quickest ways to turn your man on, especially if he's not expecting it.
- Talking Dirty: Talking dirty to your man is a fantastic way to make sex way, way hotter. If you want to know exactly what to say to your man when talking dirty then you might be interested in checking out the examples in this dirty talking video tutorial (with tons of dirty talking example phrases).
2. They Like It When You Take Control, But...
Most women prefer it when their man is in control and 'calling the shots' in the bedroom. Having surveyed over 2000 women, I can confirm this. And anecdotally, men usually prefer being the ones 'calling the shots'. Reading this, it sounds like men and women are perfectly suited to each other. They are. However...
Most guys like it from time to time when their girlfriend or wife is the one in control, 'calling the shots', moving them into the next position and even being the one talking dirty. Not all the time, but around 10% of the time is perfect for keeping things interesting. You may be a bit nervous at the idea of trying it, but once you do and you see how well your man responds to it, you'll be glad you did.
3. Guys & Erectile Dysfunction
One sex secret that many women get confused by is men and erectile dysfunction. Some women think that men have no problem getting hard 100% of the time. They think it's just going to happen no matter what. Well, for most guys under 40, it is almost never a problem. However, guys affected by stress, who are nervous, who have just orgasmed or are just feeling under the weather can certainly contribute to making it difficult getting and maintaining an erection.
What I am getting at with this sex secret is actually 2 things. Firstly, 99% of the time it's not the girl's fault if her man can't get an erection, so PLEASE don't think it is. The second thing is to remember that your man may be feeling super self-conscious if he is having trouble getting an erection, so the best thing to do is to not make a big deal of it. Even if he starts making a big deal about it, it's best to just act as if it's no biggie.
4. Guys Hate Starfish
I know the first sex secret I revealed was to be a 'sex crazed pornstar' every once in a while for your man. And maybe you aren't totally comfortable with that idea. That's fine, not everyone is. However, one thing that you absolutely must avoid is being a 'starfish' for your man.
Imagine a starfish in the ocean right now. When you look at it, what's it doing? Pretty much staying where it is, almost completely still. Lying in bed and barely moving is a recipe for destroying your sex life with your man. So if there's one thing you take from these sex secrets I'm revealing is that you should never just lie there. Get involved — it's incredibly sexy if you do.
5. They Can't Read Your Mind
This second last sex secret is important if you want to keep your sex life interesting and fun for both of you. You see, men are terrible at picking up on the signs that there's something wrong or even picking up on the signs on how you're feeling. So rather than hoping your man can understand how you're feeling, it's going to be far more effective to be more direct about it.
So if there is a position you love or a particular technique or even something he does when kissing you, don't be afraid to be very explicit with you praise, "I love it when you do that" or "That is so dam hot!".
6. A Great Blowjob
One thing all guys can agree on is that they love getting a good blowjob. Rather than wondering and hoping that you're doing it right, check out the techniques you will learn in this blowjob video.
More from YourTango: 5 Crazy Male Erogenous Zones That Will Get Him Hot & Bothered
More sex coach advice on YourTango: