I used to openly discuss my dating experiences in my writing. Men I dated were scared — and still are. "Am I just a subject for your next story?" they ask. "Is this the final chapter of your book?" I know they're only half kidding, so I smile and laugh coquettishly, brushing off their inquiries. As a winsomely disguised warning, I flirtatiously tell them, "Well, that depends on whether or not you're nice to me." And so it goes — the good guys have always been depicted as the gems that they are, and the bad ones in a deservingly sallow light.
My dedication to open and honest blogging wavered a bit when I ran into someone who I had just blogged about — in a not so complimentary way. Two weeks prior, he had drunkenly made a move on me and tried to follow me home. I felt it was necessary to talk about that experience to provide solace for other women who had been inappropriately "followed," to show them that they aren't alone. Although I had changed all the names in my post, you could imagine how awkward that encounter was. Afterward, I decided that depicting any guy in a less than complimentary way in my writing who I had any chance of running into again (New York is a surprisingly small world) just wasn't worth the potential confrontation.
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So I stopped writing about my love life, but unfortunately I didn't stop getting seduced by losers. The losers were as sneaky as ever — you know, the charming handsome types who make you feel like you're the only girl in the world and then mysteriously disappear? Or worse, engage in behavior so rancid that you wonder if wolves raised them?
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For those of you who wonder if a dating coach takes her own advice, I do ... most of the time. Writing over the years has certainly enabled me to have insight into the types of traps I get pulled into and how to avoid them. However, sometimes it takes a while to get to know someone, especially if you are seeing the person without the luxury of a mutual friend who can clue you into their character (Ahem ... #Acquaintableisawesome). Without a third-party source, what information do you have to rely on besides what they tell you (and what you sniff out like Nancy Drew on Google)? How can you know without experiencing them yourself? Keep reading...
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