Are you looking to please yourself or everyone ELSE on YOUR wedding day?
As families flock together for the holidays, birthdays and special gatherings, questions get popped and rings get shown off in cute selfies online. And then it's time to start wedding planning!
If you’re saying “yes!”, I beg you to consider exactly what the wedding-planning process means for you. More importantly, don’t “sell out” your values.
A 2014 study found the more couples spend on their big day, the shorter their marriage will be.
For the sample of women, the hazard of divorce was 3.5 times higher for couples who spent more than $20K as opposed to those who spent between $5K and $10K. The researchers also stated that their evidence suggests weddings that are high in attendance but relatively inexpensive are associated with lower divorce rates.
In today’s wedding culture, where the “necessities” include destination location bachelor and bachelorette parties, photo booths, videographers and lavish post-wedding brunches, creating a relatively inexpensive wedding definitely requires you to be creative in your planning,
Over one year ago, I exchanged “I do’s” with my husband in the sunroom of my parents’ home.
The best part (besides marrying my soul mate, of course) was that we didn’t break the bank.
The DIY touches, such as the wedding cake my mother decorated with flowers in my basement and the lace ribbon I hot-glued to my hand-arranged bouquet two minutes before I walked down the “aisle” (aka the living room) made the day feel genuine, special and utterly real.
Twenty guests witnessed my husband and I make the most serious commitment of our lives. It was intimate and lovely.
Most importantly, I didn’t allow myself to feel inferior for doing things my own way on my wedding day.
I skipped the frivolous expenses I initially felt pressured to include — from the influence of the stunning images on Pinterest that left me drooling, or the fact that I was 28 and everyone around me was getting married with cookie-cutter nuptials, no expenses spared.
With seven wedding invites this year and traditional bridesmaids duties, I’ve never once regretted my unconventional wedding decision. According to The Knot, an average wedding has 136 guests and costs $31,213 (excluding the honeymoon). Ouch!
You should question what’s truly important to you without the hoopla created by people outside of your relationship. For the majority of people in their 20s and early 30s, a huge wedding is likely irresponsible. Millennials crave instant gratification – we want things now! We don’t really think through the consequences.
What happened to financial responsibility, like paying off your debt? Hello, enormous school loans. It’s not sexy to be conscious about spending limits during wedding planning, but making wise decisions will provide you and your partner more financial freedom down the road.
If you’re just putting on a big show because it’s what everyone else is doing or if you feel pressure to impress people, I urge you to take a step back and look at the big picture.
This event is made to honor the bond you and your new husband. Your relationship is what’s most important. It’s not about providing a lobster dinner for 100 friends and their plus-ones who you don’t even know or like! The people who truly love you will support whatever decision you make, and they won’t take it personally if you don’t throw a big shindig.
So, if you’re going to be planning a wedding, remember it’s about the two of you and the life you will be creating together.
Samantha Burns teaches couples how to have a thriving love life in her FREE e-book, “Love Successfully: 10 Secrets You Need To Know Right Now!” This guidebook gives couples the ingredients to cook up a happy relationship full of intimacy, connection and affection. Receive your free copy when you subscribe with your email address. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook.
This article was originally published at Elite Daily. Reprinted with permission from the author.