Make him want to grab you and never let you go.
So you've finally met a man you really like and can see yourself having a relationship with him. You should make an effort to show him you're a real find, right?
Actually, no. The fantastic thing about being a woman is that getting a man to see how wonderful you are doesn't involve any effort at all. In fact, it's all about simply being, not doing.
It's not what you do, it's what you are.
When we meet a great guy, we women often try to do whatever we can to make him see what a great catch we are. We'll go out of our way to do things for a man, plan outings together, and sometimes even say yes to things he wants that go against what we want.
You can't convince a man to fall in love. But you can lead him there by connecting to his heart. One of the most powerful ways to do this is to let yourself be guided by your feminine rather than your masculine energy.
Feminine energy is about being instead of doing. When you focus on simply being in the moment and enjoying a man's company and attention, you automatically shift your vibe so that he can step into the masculine, doer role.
To do that, you must first be open to receive. Here's how:
1. Let him chase after you, not the other way around.
Inspiring a man to see you as the one woman he wants to be with forever is all about you being able to receive love.
Men fall in love when they give to you, not because of how much you give them or do for them. When you shower him with affection, attention, dinners, gifts, and always go out of your way to drive to his place, it makes him think of you as a mother or a friend instead of inspiring his emotional desire for you.
When you are open to receiving from a man, you are sending a message that you value yourself and you believe you are worthy of his time, attention, gestures, and ultimately his love. So resist the temptation to prove your worth by giving, and instead create the space for him to give to you.
2. Set your own boundaries that he absolutely must respect.
Men are competitive creatures who value what they must work hard to get. If he gets a sense that you're completely devoted to him with very little investment on his part, he'll question your value.
This means you do not give away exclusivity to a man until you have the commitment you want from him. Instead, you keep dating and meeting lots of different men so you give yourself a chance to find out what you really want and need from a relationship. At the same time, you aren't prematurely cutting yourself off from your Mr. Right in case you haven't met him yet.
When you keep the focus on yourself and keep yourself open to other men, you send the message that you're a woman who puts herself first and that you are a prize. This elevates your "degree of difficulty," so he has to step up his game to get you all to himself... or risk another guy beating him to it.
3. Always, no matter what, put yourself first.
The most important thing to remember when you are dating a man and want him to realize how wonderful you are, is to put your happiness first.
If you love taking a dance class every Thursday night, don't give it up just because he's in the picture and you don't want him to think you're not interested. Letting him know you have a life before him actually makes him more attracted to you — not just because you're not about to drop everything for him, but because people who are passionate about their interests are interesting people.
So tell him, "It would feel so great to see you on Thursday, but I have my dance class that night, and I love it. I'm free Tuesday or Friday." Then ask him what he thinks. It might feel a little scary to do this with a guy you really like, but the right guy will gladly re-arrange his plans to see you. Why? Because you've just proven you're a great catch he has to woo and win.
To learn specific ways to relate to a man — from the early stages of dating all the way through a blissful commitment — subscribe to Rori's free newsletter.