This guide assumes that you have the weekend to yourself. If you have kids, call in your favors and get a friend or relative to take over for the weekend. Shed the guilt — you'll be a better parent if you spend this weekend fueling up with erotic energy that will last for weeks to come.
You'll start with pampering and preparation, go on an old-school date on Friday night, spend Saturday immersed in erotic pleasure and then enjoy a full day of afterglow on Sunday!
Ready? Let's go!
Step 1: Choose Your Location
Hot sex requires a habitat to thrive. If you are going to be staying at home, clean the house ahead of time and get rid of distractions: it is hard to get aroused with a pile of dirty laundry in the corner.
If you can afford it, hire a housecleaner to come in on Friday morning so you can start your weekend in a sparkling clean house. Or, consider booking a hotel room for the weekend. Book online for great rates and know you are investing in your relationship and wellbeing. A clean hotel room, free of reminders of your everyday life, can be a powerful aphrodisiac.
Step 2: Turn Off Technology
Nothing kills your libido like getting emails from work. If you can, leave your mobile packed away for the weekend. If you want to use your device for streaming music, finding restaurants and texting with your babysitter, than take a vow not to check your email.
Trust us, the world will not fall apart around you and everything will be waiting for you on Sunday evening, and no one will fault you for unplugging for 48 hours!
Step 3: Schedule A Date
Think back to the early days of your relationship. You probably set dates in advance, spent time getting yourself ready, built up anticipation and then showed up ready to shine. Time to bring the thrill of dating back into your relationship.
Make a date for Friday night. Choose a new restaurant that you've always wanted to try, a gallery opening in a nearby town, take a dance class or visit a museum offering an evening reception. Make sure it is a date where your attention is on one another: no movies, plays or concerts!
Step 4: Prepare Yourself For Romance
On Friday evening, spend time by yourself getting ready for your date. Go to the gym, get your hair done, take an extra long shower; do whatever makes you feel pampered and sexy.
While you are in the shower or relaxing, spend some time fantasizing about your upcoming weekend. What do YOU want to experience? What is your body hungry for?
Step 5: Dine and Discuss
On your Friday night date, spend time catching up with one another and sharing highlights from your week. Off limits: complaining about work, discussing stressful issues, or worrying about the future. Focus on subjects that make you feel good, hopeful and close to one another.
After you have decompressed a bit, use the following questions to start a conversation about what you want to share over the weekend. Dare to be honest and specific: your weekend of hot sex is on the line!
- We have the weekend all to ourselves: what one thing would be the most satisfying for you?
- Is there any way I can pamper you or take care of you this weekend?
- Is there something specific you want to experience?
Try to come up with a short list of a few activities you both want to explore. Include in and out of bedroom experiences: One list might include: a long foot massage, a steak dinner, oral sex, bathing one another, long slow sex. Another couple might come up with: full body massage, yoga, light bondage, erotic spanking and queening.
Dare to ask for specifically what you want — those who ask for what they want are much more likely to get it!
Step 6: Go To Bed Wanting More
Friday night is all about going on a date. Go to bed full of anticipation and desire for your weekend together. Spend time kissing, touching and cuddling — but don't have sex! Try to get to sleep early so you wake up refreshed and full of energy.
Step 7: Sultry Saturday
Saturday will be your main event. Allow yourselves to sleep in, and then have a delicious breakfast. Go for a walk together to help digest, then head back to the bedroom. Think of the day as one long marathon sex event, and pace yourself accordingly. Remember that there can be several climactic peaks of erotic energy over the course of the day.
Take turns giving and receiving. This allows you both to fully relax and savor receiving pleasure, while the other fully focuses on giving. Choose who wants to receive first: then allow yourself to go fully into the roles of giver and receiver. The giver is in charge of the music, bringing water and snacks, and focusing fully on lavishing the receiver with as much pleasure as they can handle. No worries: you’ll switch roles later on in the day!
We highly recommend you start with sharing full body massage. Learn how to give one another deep, satisfying massage and you'll be able to help one another relax, de-stress and prepare the body for arousal. Everyone has a favorite kind of massage, but for many women nothing compares to a great foot massage. Put on relaxing music, heat up the room and take time to sink into the pleasures of a massage.
Transition from full body massage and start bringing up the heat with full body contact. Get naked, use plenty of massage oil, and glide your body over your lover's skin. Lavish them with kisses, nibbles and kind words. Slowly start touching closer and closer to their most sensitive parts, building up anticipation and desire. When you are both aching with desire, pleasure your lover with your hands and mouth, focusing all of your attention on building their arousal towards one or more climaxes. Once you are fully exhausted, pull the sheets over their quivering body, cuddle up next to them and just rest together.
Share a meal and then switch roles — it is now time to repay all of that generosity and attention! Again, start with sharing massage, then create a long slow build up of arousal before allowing the receiver to climax. By early afternoon, you'll both be lavished in loving touch, fully charged with erotic energy and, most likely, hungry. Share a delicious meal and then get ready for another round of pleasure!
Step 8: Play A Game
On Saturday night, it is time to keep building on the pleasure you've generated and create an extraordinary erotic experience together. Begin by talking about this question: What was the hottest sex we've ever shared? What elements made that sex so hot? Then, pin down what kind of hot sex you want to have as the climax of your erotic weekend. Do you want slow, romantic sex? Rough, aggressive sex? Ritualistic, spiritual sex? Get specific and choose one kind of sex that you want to share. Then make it a game to create that sex for yourselves.
In our book The Fantasy Method, we share how to create erotic games in order to have extraordinary sexual experiences. All games have goals, roles and boundaries, which allow a game to emerge and offers a specific experience for the players. In your erotic game, you can create a specific experience by adding some structure to your evening.
- Want romantic sex? Dim the lights, choose music that makes you feel seductive, then spend some time gazing in one another's eyes and sharing all the reasons you love one another. Kiss long and slow, then make love with your eyes wide open and sharing loving words.
- Want it rougher? Set specific boundaries about what will and will not happen, then meet in the hotel lobby. Seduce one another, get back to your room and don’t hold back. Throw one another around, bite and scratch, let your primal animal out to play. Try an erotic spanking session before having sex and see just how arousing a good spanking can be!
- Want to explore something new? Choose a fantasy that you’ve both been curious about and then spend the evening exploring it. Whether that be introducing more anal play into your sex life, playing with sex toys or trying out light bondage, trying something new together will be thrilling and give you the chance to get vulnerable together and expand your erotic horizons.
The goal is to fall asleep together, both sexually satisfied and basking in the glow of the pleasure and eroticism you have shared. Try to really go for it, holding nothing back!
Step 9: Enjoy a Sweet Sunday Morning
If you follow this plan, you'll be fully satiated and maybe even a little sore when you wake up on Sunday morning. Wash up, and then linger in bed. Don't put pressure on yourselves to do anything specific. Just enjoy touching one another's naked body, talking about highlights from your weekend together, kiss and cuddle.
The opportunity to relax in a prolonged session of naked cuddling is precious. Enjoy it, and get curious about exploring your lover's body with your eyes and hands. Notice all the little things you love about your partner — and then share your thoughts out loud. If you naturally move towards making love, let it happen. But Sunday morning is all about relaxing together naked — hot sex optional!
Step 10: Transition Back To Normal Life
End your hot sex weekend with a meal out. Thank one another for all the pleasure you shared, talk about what your favorite moments were, and then feel free to start making plans for your next hot sex weekend. Couples who share a weekend like this a few times a year are much more likely to feel sexually satisfied, stay connected and feel more powerful in their marriage, family and work life. Erotic energy is fuel for your life — stop and fill your tank once in awhile!
Keep your afterglow alive by replaying the events of your weekend over and over in your head. Each time you think about that loving massage, that hot oral sex, or that intense erotic spanking you received, your brain will release a flood of pleasure hormones that will give you a full body buzz. Let yourself savor the weekend long into the week — and remember that you have another hot sex weekend coming soon!
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