I hate rules. I hate telling women to follow them. I like offering mindful 'dos' and 'don'ts' that women can use as guidelines to make sure they are on track with acting like one half of a considerate, respectful, loving, and caring whole. Rules, on the other hand, seem stifling and repressing to a woman’s individuality. I think, however, that the following rule is very empowering and actually helps relieve women of stifling insecurities and releases repressed sexual urges. So I will allow myself to suggest it.
Here it is:
More from YourTango: Molding Gentlemen: What Attracts A Man To A Woman
Rule to Get Him Craving Your Sex: STOP trying to be sexy!
Your sex appeal in a man’s eyes has everything to do with how ALIVE and UNBRIDLED your Sex Spirit is.
What’s your Sex Spirit you ask?
Your Sex Spirit is the part of you that loves and ENJOYS sex.
When you start obsessing over your body image and your level of attractiveness, all in an attempt to appear “sexy” to men, you are slowly killing your Sex Spirit.
When you buy high-fashion magazines full of glossy, air-brushed photos of runway models and famous actresses, and then you STARE at their bodies, hair, make-up and facial features, wishing you could look that way, your Sex Spirit is wilting away like the petals of an abused rose.
A LUMINOUS Sex Spirit radiates off women who allow their thoughts to break free from society's idea of beauty and from inhibition and self-judgment. It WILDLY EMITS from women who aren’t ashamed of their urges and who instead give their bodies full permission to be turned on at the thought of steamy, sweaty, yummy, juicy lovemaking.
When your insecurities and harsh inner voices are at work, your Sex Spirit dims. You STOP loving the bouncy, free, fun, tender, soulful, intimate side of sex. Instead, you start desperately clawing at ways to feel better about yourself. Your mind starts using sex and looking “sexy” like a weapon to validate your worth as a woman and as a person worth loving.
Your mind puts a lot of burdensome weight on sex appeal. It makes you feel like you have to be sexy and you have to turn men on to have status as a female, instead of you just feeling sexual in your femininity, deeply pleasured by great lovemaking and confident that a man will find that arousing.
A woman with a luminous Sex Spirit isn’t stuck in her corrosive thoughts about her sex appeal. She doesn’t have to dress provocatively if she doesn’t want to, or say suggestive, attention-grabbing things if she doesn’t want to, because she doesn’t obsess over whether or not men think she is sexy. She just cares about pleasurable lovemaking with the man she trusts and cares for.
More from YourTango: 5 Dating Tips For Empowered Women
And this “freedom from the chains of judgment” makes her very attractive to all men.
Her sex appeal becomes about her vivacious, life-lusting, easily-excitable, womanly energy, instead of about her looks. Therefore, she is sexually appealing no matter what she wears or how toned her body is.