Blindsided by a man’s recent request for space? Was everything going well in the relationship, and then-- BAM!— one argument lead to him distancing himself? When he pulls back, it can be feel terrifying and heartbreaking. I should know; I’ve been involved in quite a few dating relationships where men have pulled back.
The good news is that you aren’t totally powerless. You can empower yourself to take an effective course of action and speak with him in a way that will leave him wondering if he’s made the right choice in pushing you away.
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Handle Yourself With Calm Dignity When He Pulls Back
Having dignity when communicating your feelings isn’t about lying and pretending you are okay to save face. It’s not about acting aloof or indifferent to his distancing. Having dignity is about having the confidence to be honest and vulnerable without being needy.
When he pulls back, it’s important you speak with him to tell him the truth about how you feel. Don’t just let him go quietly off into the night if you know that you’re going to feel a lack of closure while he takes space.
If you are angry, scared, sad, emotionally shattered… tell him. Tell him exactly what’s going on with you. Not only do you need to get out your feelings to him before it’s too late, he needs to see you right now as a tender, soft and vulnerable woman who has emotional depth and deep passion. He needs to see that you are brave enough to show him your true feelings and to express yourself freely and fluidly.
Do so without trying to pull him toward you. Do so without acting destitute, accusatory or desperate. There’s a difference between, “I feel sad, betrayed and angry that you are taking space but I will respect your wishes” and “I don’t know if I’m going to be okay without you,” or “Whatever! I don't want to be with you anyway [when you know this isn't true]!”
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Take The Time To Think About What You Want & Who You Are
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When he pulls back, it’s your time to have an intimate relationship with yourself. Think of his taking space as a chance to self-reflect and decide if you really do want to be with him.
Self-Reflection When He Pulls Back