How To Handle Things When He Pulls Back


How To Handle Things When He Pulls Back
If he's taken space from the relationship, take this recommended course of action to stay empowered.

Blindsided by a man’s recent request for space?  Was everything going well in the relationship, and then-- BAM!— one argument lead to him distancing himself?  When he pulls back, it can be feel terrifying and heartbreaking.  I should know; I’ve been involved in quite a few dating relationships where men have pulled back

The good news is that you aren’t totally powerless.  You can empower yourself to take an effective course of action and speak with him in a way that will leave him wondering if he’s made the right choice in pushing you away.

More from YourTango: How To Spot & Release Emotionally Unavailable Men

Handle Yourself With Calm Dignity When He Pulls Back

Having dignity when communicating your feelings isn’t about lying and pretending you are okay to save face.  It’s not about acting aloof or indifferent to his distancing.  Having dignity is about having the confidence to be honest and vulnerable without being needy.

When he pulls back, it’s important you speak with him to tell him the truth about how you feel. Don’t just let him go quietly off into the night if you know that you’re going to feel a lack of closure while he takes space.

If you are angry, scared, sad, emotionally shattered… tell him.  Tell him exactly what’s going on with you.  Not only do you need to get out your feelings to him before it’s too late, he needs to see you right now as a tender, soft and vulnerable woman who has emotional depth and deep passion.  He needs to see that you are brave enough to show him your true feelings and to express yourself freely and fluidly. 


Do so without trying to pull him toward you.  Do so without acting destitute, accusatory or desperate.  There’s a difference between, “I feel sad, betrayed and angry that you are taking space but I will respect your wishes” and “I don’t know if I’m going to be okay without you,”  or “Whatever!  I don't want to be with you anyway [when you know this isn't true]!” 

Sign up now for my Goddess Love Advice Newsletter to learn exercises and visuals to help you get and stay grounded! 

Take The Time To Think About What You Want & Who You Are

More from YourTango: Angling For A Proposal? Here's How To Reel Him In

When he pulls back, it’s your time to have an intimate relationship with yourself.  Think of his taking space as a chance to self-reflect and decide if you really do want to be with him.

Self-Reflection When He Pulls Back

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Ms. Kristina Marchant


Is the man you love emotionally distant?  Maybe he runs hot then cold, or maybe he has slowly been distancing himself over time?  If so, you are have something in common with the women who read and follow my blog,  Come take a look and sign up there for my free mini-course: "Why Men Fall In & Out Of Love...  And What You Can Do"



Location: Miami, FL
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Ms. Kristina Marchant:

How To Spot & Release Emotionally Unavailable Men


A relationship when both partners are "all-in" is tough enough. But when your man is emotionally unavailable, things are so much harder. You're committed to making things work, but he just won't open up. A tell-tale sign of an emotionally unavailable man is a lack of empathy; check for these signs before you get too committed. Although my ... Read more

Angling For A Proposal? Here's How To Reel Him In


You love him and you know he's the one; he says he loves you but admits he's not sure if you're his forever woman. Ouch. This not only hurts like hell — it's maddening. In your heart, you know that he loves you and would be miserable without you in his life, but your head tells you that you're acting like a fool, waiting around ... Read more

How To Act When He Needs Space


Is the man you love acting like a ghost in your relationship?  Maybe he's even vocalized that he needs space? Perhaps he claims nothing's wrong, but he just doesn't return your texts and seems to be a whole lot busier than he was in the early stages of dating? Before you convince yourself that he has one foot out of the relationship, ask ... Read more

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