As a matchmaker and dating coach in Washington, DC, a town full of sharp, successful, powerful women, I often hear the line, “Men are intimated by me”. When I hear this, I listen patiently and empathetically and then, when the time is right, I explain that it’s just not true. I speak with men every single day, and I have the inside scoop - the 411 on how men really feel.
Men are not intimidated by your success, ladies. They love that you are successful. In fact, they admire your ambition and accomplishments. What they don’t like is the masculine energy you literally bring to the dinner table. What men want most, what they ask me for when I find them matches, is a feminine, nurturing, kind, caring, easy-going woman.
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They don’t care what college you graduated from. They don’t care how many degrees you have, how much money you make or if you can change your own tire.
I often stump my coaching clients with the following question. “What is the number one thing that will make a man want to see you again?” The answer: “It’s the way you make him feel.” Men are simple and straightforward. What they want most of all is to feel like MEN.
Inside every female top-notch attorney, investment banker and CEO is a soft gooey center – you’re a woman after all. So get in touch with your softer side, and bring your feminine energy to the dinner table.
Here are 10 things you can do to let your feminine energy shine on a date.
1. Go home after work and change into something feminine. Then go on your date. Don’t wear your work clothes.
2. Dress like a girl – wear light makeup, soft colors, a skirt or a dress and heels.
3. Let the man pick the restaurant (even if it's not your favorite).
4. Don’t be argumentative when you disagree with something he says – agree to disagree and be a good listener.
5. Don’t talk about work on your date.
6. Let him lead (order for you, open doors, hail the cab, etc)
7. Let your guard down. Be warm, genuine - be yourself.
9. Be appreciative. Thank him for choosing such an excellent restaurant and for planning a wonderful evening. Let him know he did a good job and that you had a really nice time.
10. Don’t send a thank you email, text or call him after the date. Let him pursue you. If he’s interested, you’ll hear from him – and soon.
We modern women are used to taking charge. It takes practice and a conscious effort to stop, take a step back and let a man take care of us for a change. At first, it may feel strange, but after a while, it will feel good - really good.
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Men are not intimidated by your success. They crave your femininity. Tap into your feminine energy, share it, and you’ll have more dating success in the future.