There are things about women that turn us guys on. Lots and lots of things….and, no, they don't all have to do with lots and lots of cleavage. There are just many things about women that we like…and some things we aren't quite sold on.
We know that women aren't perfect, and that's fine because we're not perfect either….unless we are a hybrid of George Clooney, Kevin Durant, and the Dali Lama. Still, some imperfections drive us away faster than others.
Using the toilet with the bathroom door open, coming to bed clad in old sweat pants, zit cream, and your childhood retainer, and telling us about your periods, aren't exactly things that turn us on — unless we picture ourselves as tampons — but they aren't going to repel us permanently, either.
Instead, the things that really make women lose men are much more detrimental to the relationship. Things like:
Having Nothing Else Going On
Men like to know that women are into them: it gives us an ego boost to know that we are your number one priority. But, we don't want to be your only priority. We like women who have other things going on. This can be a hobby, a job, or meeting a group of friends for happy hours at TGIFs. It just needs to be something. When we are the only thing going on in your life, it can involve too much pressure and far too little space.
Never Being Feminine
Women who are "just one of the guys" are great: we love that you are into football, dirty jokes, and watching all the Die Hard movies in a row (yes, even the new one). But, we like the feminine side of you as well — the side that needs us to open mayonnaise jars, the side that asks us to go investigate that loud noise in the basement, and the side that dresses up in makeup and a black dress for a night out on the town. It's pretty simple, really: if we wanted to date people who never acted feminine, who showed off their muscles and underarm hair, we'd date men….or Madonna.
Talking Dirty, But In A Gross Way
Talking dirty in bed is generally a good thing: you typically turn us on with about anything (you had me at "the"). Yet, when that talking dirty becomes too self-deprecating (or just plain weird), it can be a huge deal. Referring to yourself as "daddy's little girl" or "a dirty dirty slut" or "a wittle baby who has wost her way" can make us feel a little bit like sleaze-balls. So, while talking dirty is a good thing, crossing the line from dirty to creepy isn't.
Fast-Forwarding To The Future
There's a big secret out there that not many women know about: a lot of men also want to get married and have children. The thing is, though, we don't want to do it before we get to know you and fall in love with you. We don't even want to talk about weddings and baby wipes. It's because of this that fast-forwarding into the future can be a turn off. It's not like we never want to talk about the white picket fence and the 2.5 kids; we just don't want to do it on a first, second, or third date.
Assuming All Men Are The Same
You don't want us to assume that you are just like our ex-girlfriends — the ones who cut up all of our Armani suits, slept with our bosses, and posted Facebook statuses that read "I hope my ex-boyfriend likes applause because he just got the clap." Since you wouldn't want us to assume you are like other girls, don't assume we are like other guys. Letting one bad experience influence your feelings towards all men will chase us away; so, give us a clean slate — chances are, we also think your ex-boyfriend sounds like a total douche bag.
To learn more about what turns men off, click here.
More relationship advice for women on YourTango:
- Relationship Advice: 5 More Things Your Mom Never Told You
- New Relationship Advice: 10 Basic Rules
- Find A Relationship Expert