5 Reasons To Stop Being Angry At Your Ex

By

angry black woman
It's bad to be bitter about a breakup. Here's why.

Nine times out of 10 my clients are angry and hurt because they feel betrayed by their exes. However, it's really important to let go of the bitterness because the only person it really hurts is you. Here's how:

1. You won't find inner peace. When we feel betrayed, we implicitly believe that we, ourselves would have never have done what was done to us. You grapple with the question "How could he have ever treated me that way?" However, your ex is just a mirror of you. What you judge in him is usually an indication that you are judging yourself.

So, instead of blaming him, take responsibility. Whenever you are inclined to say "He is so [fill in the blank]," say "We are so [fill in the blank" instead. sSee if you can find at least five examples of traits you dislike about your ex that you possess yourself. Then, aim to change them in you.

2. You will have a toxic body. Holding onto negative emotions takes more energy than letting them go. People who hold onto bitterness will usually find they have less energy than those who don't.

Imagine for a moment that each factor that causes you bitterness is a heavy rock on your shoulder. Would you feel weighed down if you keep on piling on the rocks? Of course you would.

Carrying these emotions around will weaken and build up toxins in your body as it releases adrenalin — which when maintained over a long period of time, suppresses the immune system, impairs digestion, uses up vital vitamins and minerals, causes pain and stiffness and makes your boy acidic which results in inflammation. Instead, find a way to purge your emotions by hitting a pillow, going outside and screaming your lungs out.

3. Bitterness prolongs your suffering. If you focus on what your ex has done to you, you aren't living in the present, which practically guarantees depression. Living in the present is where you will experience the greatest amount of joy, and it is here where the suffering stops. Keep reading ...

To find out how he can stop having power over you, connect with Marina.

For a limited time only, receive our free eBook, Break Up With Your Ex (a $5 value), yours free when you sign up for YourTango's free, daily newsletter.

Get even more insights about how (and why) to ditch your "type" and free yourself from unhealthy attachments -- so you can finally find the love of your life.

More dating after divorce advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Marina Pearson

Relationship Coach

Marina Pearson

Goodbye Mr Ex - Express Release and Move On

Want to get over an ex? Does your ex still push those buttons?

Then lets have a chat

That will take you from powerless to powerful and set you free.

Location: Ware, HRT, United Kingdom
Credentials: MA
Other Articles/News by Marina Pearson:

What Your Fight About Money Really Means

By

About four months ago, my husband and I hit a wall. In fact, it was a financial wall — at least, I thought it was. What it actually was, though, was a delegation and communication issue. So how did a financial issue become a delegation and communication issue? Well what I realized was that I had given my husband a job in our financial agreement ... Read more

Is Your Drive To Succeed Ruining Your Relationships?

By

The pursuit of success in business is very close to my heart. For many years, that was my primary goal in life and it was for my husband too. However, pursuing success in your career can put a lot of strain on your relationships — especially if you believe that the success of your business defines who you are and says something about you as a ... Read more

Are You So Worried About Money That You Can't Be Intimate?

By

My husband and I have had countless arguments about money. And we're not alone; divorce statistics suggest that money is the major cause of most divorces. Suffice it to say that money is a hot topic and one that a lot of relationships struggle with. However, the source of most of these arguments is not really money. In fact money arguments and stress ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB