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Divorced & Dating? Why You Haven't Met Mr. Right

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Divorced & Dating? Why You Haven't Met Mr. Right [EXPERT]
You don't have to be so lonely.
How can you find love when you're so busy hating men?

Do you think all single men are the same? Being a dating coach for 10 years now, I have noticed a trend that troubles me. Many women who are dating after a divorce (or any time) don't respect men. They don't value, like or appreciate men. You can tell by how they speak about men — both the new men they meet, and the ones from their past. 5 Ways To Feel Dateable After Divorce

This is understandable. Divorce is very hard, and many women have been hurt, disappointed, cheated on, controlled and/or lied to. As a result, they expect men not to be good people. I'm also going to put some blame on TV, movies and the media, too. Yet, these are the same women who are dating after divorce and want to find a loving man as a romantic partner.

More from YourTango: What Guys Really Think Of Texting

Man-bashing is a problem of tremendous proportions for four main reasons: (1) If you don't like, respect or appreciate men, why do you want one in your life? This creates an unresolved conflict within your mind; (2) If you generalize that all men are awful, you lump the good with the bad, and limit your opportunities; (3) If you talk negatively about men as a source of entertainment with your girlfriends, you reinforce that there are no good men. This belief gets into your subconscious mind, and influences your experiences; (4) Your belief that there are no good men becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Man-bashing prevents you from finding love. It's the human condition to want to be right. So, when you believe all men are trouble, you look for evidence to support this so you can be right. You point it out to a friend after a first date saying, "The guy was a jerk just like all the other guys." Does that sound familiar? You have just made your point again — there aren't any good single men.

More from YourTango: Why Ranting Online About Your Divorce Ruins Your Chance At Love

So I ask you: Do you think this belief is serving your quest to find a decent man to love? Nope! But it sure will perpetuate your experience that all men are unworthy and can't be trusted. Can this really be true of all men? Do all men deserve this treatment? If you are at all interested in truth, you can't honestly believe all men are bad. Some, but not all.

More dating advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by

Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan

Dating Coach

The Dating Coach for Women Over 40

Get my free ebook 5 Big Turnoffs that Drive Men Away here.
Author of MANifesting Mr. Right, Why Can't I Find Love and How to Sizzle Vs. Fizzle Online

Location: Milford, CT
Credentials: MBA
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan:

What Guys Really Think Of Texting

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Texting has become a popular way to communicate among singles. People like it because it's a quick means of communicating details and men usually prefer texting because it's easy to stay in touch without much effort. Texting is also a fun way to banter without picking up the phone. That's the upside. The downside is when women mistake a ... Read more

Why Ranting Online About Your Divorce Ruins Your Chance At Love

By

Divorced singles today seem to be more bitter than ever and the internet allows them to say anything and speak their minds. Is this a good thing? As a dating coach for women, I'm not so sure. In my opinion, bitterness begets bitterness and anger attracts more anger. It appears to be building on itself rather than working itself out. You might think ... Read more

Marriage After 40: 7 Signs I Knew I Found My Soulmate

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The day I turned 40, I was in shock because I was still single. How had I reached this milestone birthday and remained unattached? Honestly, I felt devastated and wondered how this could have happened to me. But then I got serious about looking for love. After some soul-searching, I decided to start doing whatever it took to meet a lot of men. I wanted to ... Read more

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