5 Simple Things A Man Does That Are Really Signs Of True Love

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signs of true love not lust
Love, Sex

How to know if his heart is in the right place...

Love is a wonderful feeling. If you don’t have it, you want it.

But we need to be careful with our feelings. Sometimes they play tricks on us. Especially when sex comes into the equation. It’s easy to get carried away.

We’ve all made that mistake of trusting that what we feel is true love —  when it turns out that all he wants is sex, confusing the signs of true love with simple lust.

It can cause you to doubt yourself, which will only prevent you from finding and falling in love. You will feel happier when you know someone loves you and has your best interest at heart.

The first step is learning to trust yourself.

Trust that you can make good choices for yourself. You've learned from the past, and now you know what the red flags are in a relationship — you can tell the difference between love and lust.

That is a really good place to be.

If you aren’t at that place, that’s alright. You will get there, just give it time. Soon, you too will be able to see the signs in your relationship and learn to trust yourself.

 

To get you started, here are 5 signs of true love to help you figure out what he feels:

1. He shows affection, even when he knows it won’t lead to sex.

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If the person you are seeing touches you without initiating sex, it likely means he really likes you and enjoys spending time with you.

You can experience an emotional connection by touching or holding hands, also known as loving touch. Whether it’s done privately or publicly, it’s done in a way that is gentle and warm.

Loving touch respects boundaries and is done in a way that is comfortable for both parties.

 

2. You have deep and interesting conversations outside of the bedroom.

Does he take an interest in you, by asking you questions about yourself and your life? Does he want to know the details, as well? Does he give you the details of his life with little to no prompting?

This doesn’t mean he takes over the conversation.

Does he know your favorite food or vacation spot? Does he remember the conversations you’ve had?

You can tell when he does because he won’t always ask the same questions.

Do you feel he has a loving curiosity about you?

If it’s just lust, he will not invest much time in conversations. And usually he will just blatantly ask for sex.

 

3. He talks about the future with you.

via GIPHY

Does he make plans to go to a concert next month with you? Is “we” starting to replace “I?”

If the answer is yes, this is a good sign of love and not just lust.

When you are committed to your partner, you are comfortable talking about next month, the holidays or next year.

This doesn’t guarantee what will happen 5-10 years down the road or that the relationship will definitely last forever. But I would definitely stay in it to find out.

 

4. He introduces you to his friends and family.

When the person you are seeing introduces you to the people that are most important to him, it’s a good indicator it’s not just a casual fling.

You don’t have to wait for him to do it first. It’s alright to take the bull by the horns and do it.

Either way, this will definitely let him know you are serious. If he’s not, then he will probably run away. (If he is, he will want to meet them and might even try to reciprocate and introduce you to his loved ones.)

Try to do this in a relaxed setting, like a small party. This way the focus of attention will not be on you (and him and it won't be too overwhelming).

 

5. You have a good friendship.

via GIPHY

A good friendship is the foundation of a good relationship. This will help with everything, including the intimacy.

When you have a good friendship, you want to be with your partner. A good friendship will help get you through the difficult times. It’s also a good indicator he wants to grow old with you and isn’t just coming back for the sex.

You are also able to fix things after an argument even if it's simply saying, ’I’m sorry’.

You have a better understanding of his story, and he’s comfortable sharing it with you. As you are with him.

 

It’s hard to say why some relationships make it and some don’t.

I’m sure you have known a couple or two that you thought for sure would make it. But then they didn’t.

We do want you to be happy and find love. Even in this fast-paced society, it is possible.

If you haven’t found it yet, keep trying.

It is out there waiting for you.

 

Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, in San Mateo, CA. She has helped many singles find happiness in themselves. For a free 15-minute phone consultation or more information, please visit LessonsForLove.com.

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Expert