Our culture tends to have a fairytale vision of what marriage should really be. Couples often enter into a marriage having had more discussion about the type of cake they want for their wedding rather than a conversation about their commitment and values in their relationship and marriage. So how do you know if you've found the one? Here are 6 signs that this could truly be your "happily ever after":
- Know what qualities you want in a mate and what is and is not acceptable in a relationship. Take the time that is needed to get to know your partner. Dating is a process of learning about one another and seeing how your partner handles situations — the good, the bad and the ugly. How he interacts with and treats the waitress in a restaurant, family members, his friends and you are all good indicators of who he really is. If he is judgemental towards everyone, that judgemental attitude will eventually be directed towards you. Don't minimize or rationalize when he displays qualities that you are not willing to live with. Way too many women say they started a relationship thinking that a particular quality of their husband/boyfriend that they didn't like would improve after they got married. This is rarely the case and in this situation as is true in most, the relationship only got worse. Remember, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. 28 Dos & Don'ts Of Divorced Parenting
- Know that infatuation lasts about 18 months and you won't really "see" your partner until passing that stage. The chemicals in your brain are actually altered during this period which is why the saying "love is blind" is very accurate. When under the spell of infatuation, the flaws of our partner are often unseen. Everyone has parts to them that you will love and parts that will be a source of frustration. It's only a matter of time before you begin to see and experience the frustrating parts. Be honest with yourself and asses if you and your partner are able to overcome and work through conflict and frustration in a way that you are both respected.
- Recognize if you are in a relationship for the right reasons and not just to be with someone. If you are in the relationship because you are too fearful of being alone or because you worry that you won't meet "Mr. Right," then this is definitely not your prince charming. Settling is not going to pay off in the long-run. 3 Tips For Finding Love Again After Divorce
- When you both treat each other respectfully and equally, it's a great indicator of a healthy relationship. If your partner allows you to be who you are, supports you in your endeavors and seeks a partnership and you reciprocate that attitude, this could be a good match. Loving someone is about being selfless and being willing to put your own agenda aside so that you can hear, see and understand the other; it is not a feeling, but an act. The feelings wear off, but the behaviors and level of commitment are what keep a relationship strong.
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