5 Ways To Feel Dateable After Divorce


5 Ways To Feel Dateable After Divorce [EXPERT]
Learn how to get your mojo back so that you feel sexy and dateable again after divorce.

Just getting out of a long marriage and don't feel like you know yourself anymore? Are you dreading getting back out there and dating again? Want to know how to get your mojo back so that you feel sexy and datable again?  These questions really resonate with me as I went through this journey when I got out of a 10 year marriage. Dress The Part To Steal His Heart

I had to rediscover myself and find out who I was again. After being married for a long time, your identity gets wrapped up in your partner and you forget who you are and what makes you tick separate from that person. This is an important journey for every divorced person to go through as you need to know and understand who you are and what you want in order to attract that right person in your life.


The first thing that usually happens post-divorce is that you go through adolescence to reunite with your youth and feel alive again. You might go to the bars until the wee hours, have sex with partners significantly younger than you or try or date the exciting "bad boys" or "bad girls" that take you places you normally would never go.

This is a very important stage that helps you get that mojo and sexual confidence you once had when you were dating before marriage or perhaps never had. This dynamic also may provide an outlet for you as a way to escape from the stress of divorce and to make you feel good. Finally, you might finally be able to do things and get involved in activities that your spouse didn't enjoy or didn't want you to do. This is your time now so embrace it, own it, and have fun! Get In Shape For Better Sex

The second thing that happens often is that there is a transformation in your image. People tend to lose weight, get back into shape, have plastic surgery and buy new clothes. The external changes can give you a new sense of identity and internal confidence. Moreover, the reinforcement you might get from the opposite sex, family and friends can provide that motivation to get back out there and see that you are desirable.

Finally, take the time and learn how to date again. It's a different world out there than how it used to be when you were in your twenties. I often tell people that you are fishing in a different pond with foreign fish. When you are in your twenties, the pond is filled with plenty of fish who all look pretty similar.

They may vary in color, but most fish are in the same place and if you catch one you can throw it back in and get another one easily. Later in life, the pond looks completely different, some fish have three eyes, some have gills missing and some look great. 12 Ways For The Gray Divorcé To Win At Dating

In other words, people have life experiences that are different than when you are young. The good news is that being older, you do have the life experiences to know who you are and what you want. So, enjoy taking your time fishing so that you can catch the right one!

As you are embarking upon this exciting journey, here are a few tips to help you along the way:

Next: Rediscover your passions...

More Juicy Content from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Kimberly Seltzer

Dating Coach

Think Hitch meets What Not To Wear.  That's me. Whether it's putting on a new pair of shoes, watching you flirt with a guy in a grocery store or matching you, it's all about feeling good about yourself so you can attract that right person and opportunities in your life!  Sign up for my free Body Type booklet and newsletter at www.eliteimagemakeovers.com and connect with me at kimberly@eliteimagemakeovers.com

Location: Beverly Hills, CA
Credentials: LCSW
Other Articles/News by Kimberly Seltzer:

For Women Who Are Dating More Than One Guy


Dating is like going to a candy store. Each time you try a different piece to see which one you like the best. Some look enticing on the outside until you unwrap and taste it only to discover it wasn't what you thought. Others may not look so great displayed on the shelf, but once you try it, you realize that it is your favorite and you keep going back for ... Read more

4 Benefits Of Being Divorced During The Holidays


The lights glisten, songs of holiday cheer fill the air and couples everywhere kiss under the mistletoe. There are constant depictions of family traditions and couples in love during this special time of year. "Bah Humbug!" you say? For some, this holiday season is a reminder of love that did not work out — a time when people reflect ... Read more

Will Men Date Divorced Women?


It's not easy to start dating again after a divorce. Not only do you have to get in the single mindset again, but now you're competing with women who've never been married before. In this video, image consultant, matchmaker and YourTango Expert Kimberly Seltzer explains that "there are no universal answers to [the] question" of whether ... Read more

See More

My Videos
Most Popular