Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

5 Ways To Feel Dateable After Divorce

By . Posted on .

5 Ways To Feel Dateable After Divorce [EXPERT]
Reinvent yourself after a divorce with these five tips!
Learn how to get your mojo back so that you feel sexy and dateable again after divorce.

Just getting out of a long marriage and don't feel like you know yourself anymore? Are you dreading getting back out there and dating again? Want to know how to get your mojo back so that you feel sexy and datable again?  These questions really resonate with me as I went through this journey when I got out of a 10 year marriage. Dress The Part To Steal His Heart

I had to rediscover myself and find out who I was again. After being married for a long time, your identity gets wrapped up in your partner and you forget who you are and what makes you tick separate from that person. This is an important journey for every divorced person to go through as you need to know and understand who you are and what you want in order to attract that right person in your life.

More from YourTango: 10 Surprising Things That Turn Men On

The first thing that usually happens post-divorce is that you go through adolescence to reunite with your youth and feel alive again. You might go to the bars until the wee hours, have sex with partners significantly younger than you or try or date the exciting "bad boys" or "bad girls" that take you places you normally would never go.

This is a very important stage that helps you get that mojo and sexual confidence you once had when you were dating before marriage or perhaps never had. This dynamic also may provide an outlet for you as a way to escape from the stress of divorce and to make you feel good. Finally, you might finally be able to do things and get involved in activities that your spouse didn't enjoy or didn't want you to do. This is your time now so embrace it, own it, and have fun! Get In Shape For Better Sex

The second thing that happens often is that there is a transformation in your image. People tend to lose weight, get back into shape, have plastic surgery and buy new clothes. The external changes can give you a new sense of identity and internal confidence. Moreover, the reinforcement you might get from the opposite sex, family and friends can provide that motivation to get back out there and see that you are desirable.

Finally, take the time and learn how to date again. It's a different world out there than how it used to be when you were in your twenties. I often tell people that you are fishing in a different pond with foreign fish. When you are in your twenties, the pond is filled with plenty of fish who all look pretty similar.

They may vary in color, but most fish are in the same place and if you catch one you can throw it back in and get another one easily. Later in life, the pond looks completely different, some fish have three eyes, some have gills missing and some look great. 12 Ways For The Gray Divorcé To Win At Dating

In other words, people have life experiences that are different than when you are young. The good news is that being older, you do have the life experiences to know who you are and what you want. So, enjoy taking your time fishing so that you can catch the right one!

As you are embarking upon this exciting journey, here are a few tips to help you along the way:

More from YourTango: Dating & Relationships: 50 Sex Tips For Men & Women

Next: Rediscover your passions...

More Juicy Content from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Kimberly Seltzer

Dating Coach

Think Hitch meets What Not To Wear.  That's me. Whether it's putting on a new pair of shoes, watching you flirt with a guy in a grocery store or matching you, it's all about feeling good about yourself so you can attract that right person and opportunities in your life!  Sign up for my free Body Type booklet and newsletter at www.eliteimagemakeovers.com and connect with me at kimberly@eliteimagemakeovers.com

Location: Beverly Hills, CA
Credentials: LCSW
Other Articles/News by Kimberly Seltzer:

4 Benefits Of Being Divorced During The Holidays

By

The lights glisten, songs of holiday cheer fill the air and couples everywhere kiss under the mistletoe. There are constant depictions of family traditions and couples in love during this special time of year. "Bah Humbug!" you say? For some, this holiday season is a reminder of love that did not work out — a time when people reflect ... Read more

Will Men Date Divorced Women?

By

It's not easy to start dating again after a divorce. Not only do you have to get in the single mindset again, but now you're competing with women who've never been married before. In this video, image consultant, matchmaker and YourTango Expert Kimberly Seltzer explains that "there are no universal answers to [the] question" of whether ... Read more

Dating With Confidence

By

What is confidence?  Men and women of all ages throw out this word time and time again as something they are looking for in a mate and is the number one element both men and women find attractive in one another.    People desire for one another to be comfortable in their own skin, sexy and solid in knowing who they are.   It could ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
happy couple

9 Steps to a Happy Marriage

Looking to improve your home relationship? Follow these suggestions from a leading family counselor.

Faith

Day 19: I Call a Do Over

Reclaiming Your Vitality - The Journey

Crazy

6 Beliefs That Keep The Procrastinator You Love Stuck!

Procrastinators are not lazy. They are trying to avoid something they fear that stops them cold.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS