How Married Women Can Recover Sexual Confidence

How Married Women Can Recover Sexual Confidence

How Married Women Can Recover Sexual Confidence

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Married women can rediscover their sexual confidence via their bodies and brains.

Let's talk about sex and marriage—they do go together, don't they? Not if you ask many of my clients. In fact, it seems like the number of marriages with little or no sex is increasing.

Sexless marriage is not a new phenomenon. In a 2005 Family Circle national survey, 21 percent of married women said their sex lives were boring and routine, 21 percent reported having no sex life at all, and almost 50 percent said they had no desire to have sex with their partner.

Where are all of the sexually confident women, and why have they disappeared? Many of my female clients considered themselves sexual goddesses in their single lives. What makes a woman go from a spirited, sexual single woman to a bored, frustrated married one? The Truth About Sexless Marriage

Here's the answer: These former sexual goddesses are sleeping next to the same partner night after night, wondering where their desire has gone and if it will ever return. Their partners are no longer pursuing them like they did when they were dating, and they feel ugly from childbirth and aging. After a while they decide that their unsatisfying sex life is normal, and is the price you pay for a stable relationship and strong family. Little by little their sexual lives become as dry and tasteless as an old piece of toast. Where's the butter?

There are many reasons married women lose their sexual confidence. Let's explore two of the main issues: the body and the mind.

First, your body. It's hard to feel beautiful with a postpartum body, complete with stretch marks, flabby tummies and a chest that has gone south. Add to that the fact that many women use food to medicate emotional pain while comparing themselves to air-brushed models, and it's no wonder that married women feel inadequate.

Let me tell you something I've learned from working with hundreds of couples, and from hearing husbands talk frankly about their wives: Men do not care about your postpartum body. They DO care about your sexual expression.

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