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How To Use Your Breakup To Create The Love You Desire

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break up
Going through a tough break up? Allow yourself to move forward & love yourself first!
Move forward with your future by using these 7 important lessons!

The time before, during and after a break is excruciating. Your mind dwells constantly on your ex, keeping you locked into feelings of sadness, despair and anger. Replaying the series of events keeps you in the past and unable to see a bright future. Break the cycle of replay by becoming aware of the moment you start thinking about your ex.

Awareness brings you to the present moment where you'll notice that you're actually okay. This is where your mind opens up to the possibility that there are lessons to be learned. Lessons that will help you love better and differently. In my experience, these 7 lessons will help you move forward with more ease. And when you're ready, they’ll help you create the future you desire.

More from YourTango: Why You Judge Your Partner & How To Stop It

Lesson #1: Accept "What Is"

Trying to figure out what went wrong and ruminating over the "why", "what" and "how" is futile when you're emotionally broken. What you resist, persists, so accept "what is", knowing that the answers will reveal themselves in time, when you've healed and are emotionally healthy. When the answers are revealed, you'll know what you need to do.

Lesson #2: Settle for More

Don't Settle For Mr. Or Ms. Wrong

Settling for less than you deserve will bring you unfulfilling relationships. You're a fabulous person who has a great deal to offer the right partner. Surround yourself with positive and loving people. Settling for more only comes from a healthy foundation of thoughts. Build a network of supportive and healthy thoughts. Your thoughts determine your feelings which determine your behavior and the type of action you take.

Lesson #3: Love Yourself First

Seeking love, affection and approval from others keeps you from knowing and loving yourself. Love, value and respect yourself first, and you'll attract a much higher quality partner who treats you well, whose actions match his words, who can be trusted, etc. Complete yourself first by improving your own relationship challenges (i.e. speaking your voice, trusting your partner, etc.) so that when you're ready for love, you'll attract a whole partner, rather than someone who is lacking in areas that matter. 

3 Ways To Attract Your Mate Through Self Love

Next: Four more lessons to help you through your breakup...

More from YourTango: How to Create a Heart-Catching Online Dating Profile

More Juicy Breakup Advice Stories:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Janet Ong Zimmerman

Relationship Coach

Relationship Coach for Successful Women

Author of forthcoming book, "How to Attract a Man Who Completely Loves and Accepts Me: The Empowering Three-Step Approach to Create True & Lasting Love"

Enjoy the Create True Love Blog.  Janet's articles provide a deeper perspective, are thought-provoking and help you see love in a richer light. They're based on her personal experiences, her perspectives, reflections, beliefs and thoughts.

Having a hard time finding success in love?  Get your free Monthly Guide to Love and receive insightful articles, inspirational resources and best practices that support your journey to love.

For more dating and relationship support, join Love for Successful Women's Google Plus Community.

Ready for love?  Contact Janet at janet@loveforsuccessfulwomen.com or 949-278-4792.

Location: Irvine, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Janet Ong Zimmerman:

Why You Judge Your Partner & How To Stop It

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"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." — Mother Teresa "Negative judgments about others are unnecessary. We are all on our own journey and have our own lessons to learn." — Janet Ong Zimmerman In the early stages of a relationship, it's easy to "fall in love" with your partner ... Read more

How to Create a Heart-Catching Online Dating Profile

By

10 Tips that Guarantee You'll Stand Out When it comes to online dating, your profile is the initial factor in determining the type and quality of men you'll attract. Spend thoughtful time in developing or updating your profile because what you put out there is what you'll attract. Here are 10 tips for creating a profile that will catch his ... Read more

Are Divorced Men Capable Of Commitment?

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Are you a woman who wants to be in a committed relationship or married? If so, and you're only considering men who have never been married, you may be limiting your options. A good segment of the male population has been married and divorced. In fact, 38.8 percent of married men divorce between the ages of 20 and 24; Twenty-two-point-three percent of ... Read more

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