Healing your heart means changing your outlook on things!
My eight year old son walks around with a box of rocks everywhere he goes and tells everyone that he is a geologist. When people ask if that is what he wants to be when he grows up, he always replies, "I am a geologist. I don't have to grow up to know what I am." This is the simplest example of faith. When you want something so bad and you can say you have become it or have received it, you have acquired faith.
Retaining faith is when you can truly believe something in your heart, even when others doubt you or you feel your world has fallen apart. Some people may call it the secret or the power. Whatever you feel comfortable calling it, it simply is pure faith.
My husband departed our marriage in 2009. There are no exact words to explain my plethora of emotions which ranged from devastation to humiliation. I can only describe it as an emotional death. I will be the first to admit that I cried for many months. My dreams were shattered and my ambition to continue life had gone astray. I had to march on with my daily venues for the sake of my two children. 8 Ways To Help Your Children Through Divorce
One day at work, while engaging in an intimate conversation, my coworker Jeanie said to me, "you have no faith!" I looked at her with confusion and disbelief. After hours of talking, she was correct.
That evening, I picked myself up by the bootstraps and went on a mission to acquire faith. I knew that if I stayed in my isolated, dispirited world, my dreams could never come true. I was cognizant to the fact that if I did not believe in something, that I would stay exactly where I was at that moment. And I remember not wanting to be in such despair any longer. It took many months and a good support system to heal. Getting Past The Past
The beautiful thing about healing is nobody can take it away from you. So give it your all. The following ideas may help you during your healing journey:
- You must forgive. This is a very hard one to master. If you are holding onto anger, angst, or anything negative, you cannot receive joy. Although your heart is broken, you have to forgive the person who broke it. And if you are in pain, you must forgive the person who inflicted it upon you. Negative attracts more negative and you will only bring more sorrow to yourself if you choose to stay angry. I had to learn to forgive my husband. I had to change the way I looked at him. Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future. How To Use Forgiveness To Have Better Sex
- You must find happiness. Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections. You have to fill your life with positive people and experiences. You have to smile, laugh and feel good about yourself. After you forgive, try being happy for your ex. I had to become content with my husband and embrace the fact that he was with joy, even though his joyousness was with someone else. He left to follow his heart and how could I be enraged with someone for following their heart and grasping at a dream? I found happiness by helping others. "If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another." I paid everything forward and placed my focus on those who were worse off than me. Healing yourself is connected with healing others. By the time I accomplished this step, I started to feel real joy again and saw small miracles starting to blossom in my life.
- You must learn acceptance and gratitude. You must embrace your new life with a smile and a clear heart. You have to understand that you are exactly where you are supposed to be and everything happens for a reason. People come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime. Encircle this notion and be grateful for every experience your ex has given you. I started to thank my husband (in my prayers) for our beautiful children, my home, and my life and for almost ten years of experiences, both good and bad. This is the turning point where I started to see doors opening for me; new opportunities I had only dreamed of were bestowing themselves. My pain was dissipating. Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.
- You must believe. You have to trust in your heart that you are going to be alright. It is called unwavering faith. You have to speak your intentions and believe in your heart that you have received them. Maybe all you want is to be happy, to get a new job, or to find another love. When you have emptied your heart of all the negative feelings, forgave your ex, found happiness, learned acceptance and became grateful...you can now acquire faith. When I finally got to this point, my divorce had been final and my dreams had started to come true. Amazing people were brought into my life, opportunities were presenting themselves, and I had finally become the woman I was meant to be. The 'Think Positive!' Experiment
I embrace my divorce and am grateful daily for that experience. I wish nothing but blessings and exhilaration for my ex-husband. I would not be where I am today if my husband had not walked out of my life. The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. Aim your thoughts and dreams for the moon. Even if you miss, stand tall with faith and you will still be amongst the stars!