Holding out for the ideal mate is crucial to attaining a truly satisfying and enduring relationship. It's never a good idea to settle for less when it comes to love. When you can't find the person who's right for you, dating gets tiresome and discouraging. It's easy to lose hope that you'll ever find the right person, but that's no reason to settle for someone who is not your Mr. or Ms. Right. How To Meet Mr. Right
Dating is no exception to life's rules. When I was first out of grad school, I thought that I was hot stuff because the agency I worked for offered me a starting salary of $12,000 and I was able to talk them into $12,500. Even in those days, that wasn't much money. I was able to manage, but I didn't have much left over at the end of the month and I certainly didn't have anything extra to spend on clothes. Wearing the same thing day after day bugged the hell out of me. In grad school I was able to get by at my internship with a blue blazer and a couple of ties, but working full time at an agency in the Loop was a different story. I was painfully aware that my one sport coat wasn't cutting it. One day at lunch I passed a men's store with a big sign in the window, "Lost Our Lease. Everything Must Go. Prices Slashed." I went in and found a beautiful tweed coat that fit great and was going for a fraction of the original price. I didn't particularly like the lapels, but the deal was too good to pass up. I took it home, put it on, and showed my girlfriend (who now happens to be my wife). She looked at me, looked at the lapels, looked back at me, and then asked me with a tone of disbelief, "What's with the lapels?" My heart sank. I was crushed and was never able to bring myself to take the coat out of the closet again.
More from YourTango: What Creates Chemistry In Relationships?
More from YourTango: It's Science: 7 Ways To Get Happier — Together
I wouldn't exactly say that I learned this lesson at the school of hard knocks, but that is how I learned the hard way to hold out for what you really want. Settling for less brings heartache and grief. The goofy thing is that people tend to apply this principle to the mundane aspects of life but not to something as important as love. It kills me when I'm talking to a guy who describes the lengths that he undertook to find the ideal fishing reel or the woman who shopped for hours to find the shoes that were a perfect match for her new purse, but they are willing to overlook traits in their partners that they don't like.
The response that I usually get when I point this out is, "but nobody's perfect." Hold on with that one. Is the guy's fishing reel perfect? Maybe it's not perfect, but it is the ideal for what he was looking for. I know that to a fisherman a good rod and reel is invaluable, and who could argue with the value of the right purse, but let's put this in perspective. We shouldn't have a higher standard for sports equipment or fashion accessories than we do for someone whom we could potentially marry and spend the rest of our lives with. 7 Relationship Resolutions For 2012