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Infatuation Vs. True Love: Use Your Heart & Mind

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Infatuation Vs. True Love: Use Your Heart & Mind
Is he the one or are you just obsessed with finding the one?
Infatuation catches your eye while love catches your heart.

What is infatuation?

Infatuation is like an innocent fantasy that we imagine to be love. It's when we're in love with the idea of love. It starts at a young age with "puppy love" or a crush on someone and continues into adulthood. Infatuation tends to happen when we're not in tune with reality; we see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. We read more into what he says and does, when his words, behaviors and actions speak otherwise.

More from YourTango: Want To Date A Higher Quality Man? 5 Changes You Must Make First

Infatuation causes us to pay more attention to a man's superficial physical characteristics and less attention to his inner, deeper qualities. Almost all women have been or will be infatuated, confusing this with love or a deep like.

Don't let your eyes cloud your vision of love

Are you infatuated or in love? If you answer "yes" to the following questions, you're prone to infatuation. Do you...

  1. Focus on external qualities (i.e. his looks, how much money he makes, the job he has, car he drives, house he lives in, etc.)?
  2. Become consumed by thoughts of him?
  3. Center your life around him by making him your priority?
  4. Believe what he says when your intuition is telling you otherwise?
  5. Have a superficial connection?
  6. Not see any flaws in him?
  7. Sit by the phone, waiting for his call?
  8. Pay for a lot of his meals and activities?
  9. Try to spent time where you think he may be, hoping to run into him?
  10. Let yourself be his option or afterthought?

Infatuation is fleeting and less fulfilling. If your relationship is based on infatuation, you'll compromise who you are, neglect what's important to you, and never feel like a priority in his life.

Open your heart to love

Being disappointed and discouraged when relationships based on infatuation don’t work out is understandable. Realize that there are always good lessons to be learned from these types of relationships. The overarching lesson is to let your heart choose who to love instead of letting your eyes choose.

Here's how to know if your relationship is based on real love. You bring out the best in each other. You're more happy than not. He treats you with love and respect. Your life is better because he's in it. There is no doubt; you just know he's the right person for you.

Have you ever been infatuated with someone? If so, how did you realize it and make the switch to love?

More from YourTango: Open Your Heart to Gratitude

Having a hard time finding success in love? Take the Love Indicator Assessment. You'll receive a free 6-page report showing where you're at with love, the reasons you haven't found it yet and what you can do to immediately improve your love life.

More relationship advice for women from YourTango:

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Janet Ong Zimmerman

Relationship Coach

Relationship Coach for Successful Women

Co-Author of International Best Seller "Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life"

Having a hard time finding success in love?  Take the Love Indicator Assessment. You'll receive a free 6-page report showing where you're at with love, the reasons you haven't found it yet and what you can do to immediately improve your love life.

For more dating and relationship support, join Love for Successful Women's Google Plus Community.

Ready for love?  Contact Janet at janet@loveforsuccessfulwomen.com or 949-278-4792.

Location: Irvine, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Janet Ong Zimmerman:

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