Dating Advice For Men: Ditch Yesterday's Rules & Find Real Love

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Online Dating Advice For Men: 10 Tips On Finding Love Today
Times are changing and so are the dating dos & don'ts. Are men still playing by yesterday's rules?

Back in the day, before women found independence from being successful at their jobs, gender roles were well defined. Men acted like men and women acted like women. Dating was easier. A man courted a woman and both knew where things were progressing. Now that more women are more independent and men are expected to adapt, dating is much more complicated. Hanging out and hooking up until someone better comes along has replaced courtship. Sex is no longer sacred and potential partners are quicker to jump in the sack.  

Some would consider the direction that dating and love have taken to be advantageous. Yet despite this, many men and women still yearn for a meaningful connection and haven't found it through these "advancements". Here's a secret: men and women are actually on the same page when it comes to love  they both want a meaningful connection and aren't sure how to get it. Having that  meaningful connection, one that's more than skin-deep, takes effort but is immensely rewarding. The real difference with men and women are that each goes about looking for this connection in different ways.

In a moment, we'll look at what you can do to date successfully. But first, let's look at some seriously outdated dating approaches in which men could use a refresher course.

13 Things That Keep Men From Dating Successfully
If you're doing one or more of these things, you are unknowingly turning off women of worth. (A woman of worth is someone you are proud to be with, someone you would take home to meet your family, and someone you could see being in a long-term relationship with.)

  1. Focusing mainly on your job and not making dating a priority.
  2. Misrepresenting yourself in your online profile. Examples include not being truthful about your height, appearance, age, interests, etc.
  3. Being closed off to women who aren't in your desired age range.
  4. Getting caught up in a woman's appearance and measurements.
  5. Sending boring messages, one-size-fits-all messages or cheesy pick-up lines to women online.
  6. Texting and emailing for weeks, instead of talking on the phone and asking her out.
  7. Saying what you think she wants to hear and not meaning what you say.
  8. Taking advantage of a woman's money, generosity, sex, fragile state, etc.
  9. Dragging things out with the wrong woman because there's no one else you're interested in.
  10. Leading a woman on by making her think you're dating exclusively when you’re also seeing other women.
  11. Trying too hard and giving off the energy of desperation.
  12. Focusing on sex too much. Examples include making sexual innuendos, saying what you think she wants to hear so that she'll have sex with you, and rushing or pressuring a woman to have sex.
  13. Dating women who deplete your energy. Examples include women who take advantage of you, are drama queens, selfish, too critical or hypersensitive.

10 Surefire Ways To Be More Successful In Dating
Guys, here's what you can do to date more women of worth — and have your dates lead to a more meaningful connection.

1. Be your true self
Present yourself as the same person online and offline. Women are pleasantly surprised to meet a man who is who he portrays himself to be. Trust is necessary and starts with being honest about the superficial things (i.e. height, appearance, age, interests, etc.). Communicate openly about who you are, your beliefs, your views on life and love, etc., so that your dates can get to know who you truly are. Be your true self and the right woman will accept, respect and like you for you.

2. Be a gentleman
Treat a woman the way you'd like a man to treat your sister, daughter or someone you care about; this means dating responsibly. Take care of your appearance and hygiene. Be a man of your word by following through with what you say. Be well-mannered, courteous and respectful in your words, behaviors and actions. Take the time to learn who she is and what she's about, and share who you are with her. Let things unfold as they're meant to instead of trying to have sex with her. When you are a gentleman, having sex will happen naturally.

3. Have integrity 
Be honest. If at the end of a date, you have no plans to see her again, don’t say, "I'll call you and let's do this again." Empty words and empty promises create false hope and end up being more hurtful. In this kind of situation, it's better to be upfront and say something like, "Thank you for meeting me. I enjoyed talking with you (only if you did) and didn't feel a romantic connection. I wish you well in life and love." Also, walk your talk. This means doing what you say you're going to do; otherwise, don't say it.  

4. Make the first move
Even though women have made strides in their professional lives, many of us prefer men to still make the first move. Don't wait for a woman to make the first move if you're interested in her. Contact her based on what you read in her dating profile (i.e. referencing common interests, asking her a question about something that sparked your attention) before the window of opportunity passes. She may or may not be interested, but by making the first move, you increase the possibility that she will respond. The caveat is: don't make mention of her appearance in a creepy way (i.e. "Hey sexy, love your body."). A woman of worth doesn't respond positively to creepy messages. Keep reading...  

More online dating advice for men on YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Janet Ong Zimmerman

Relationship Coach

Relationship Coach for Successful Women

Co-Author of International Best Seller "Sexy Secrets to a Juicy Love Life"

Having a hard time finding success in love?  Take the Love Indicator Assessment. You'll receive a free 6-page report showing where you're at with love, the reasons you haven't found it yet and what you can do to immediately improve your love life.

For more dating and relationship support, join Love for Successful Women's Google Plus Community.

Ready for love?  Contact Janet at janet@loveforsuccessfulwomen.com or 949-278-4792.

Location: Irvine, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
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