You think you've found the perfect person to have a relationship with. Everything he/she does is so touching, especially in the initial stages of the relationship. He/She is so thoughtful, and goes out of the way to ensure that all of your needs are met. There are red flags, tiny ones... but you choose to ignore them, thinking that these are merely your imagination. (ie: the glare you receive when you smile at a waiter... is just one example).
As the relationship progresses, you find yourself altering your behavior to accommodate him, or to please him. Then, as it moves forward, more warning signs start to appear. Signs Of A Bad Boyfriend: One Man Tells All
Emotional abuse can take on many faces. It can begin with your partner becoming irritable at the smallest of action, and turning it into your fault. The key word here is "fault"—as in it is always you that makes him/her direct the anger to you. When you try to understand this behavior and talk it out, he wants nothing to do with talking, and claims it is your imagination. He will refuse to discuss it, re-emphasizing that you are the one "making him lose his temper" with the "stupid" things you do.
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Gradually, the communication deteriorates because anything that you say will force an adult conversation to erupt into him losing his cool and unleashing a tirade on you. Fighting With My Husband: How Do You Fight Fair?
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I'm listing some other signs that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship below. If you can recognize most of them, maybe eliminate three—you have a serious problem that requires professional help from a psychologist. Most emotionally abusive couples opt out of this, and instead break up—surrounded by a confused bewilderment. How did things go so terribly "wrong"?
Answer: They were always there, you chose to not acknowledge the red flags because he/she was so attentive initially and just the greatest person in the world.