Love

7 Tiny Ways I Knew With 100% Certainty My Guy Was Husband Material

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couple walking on the beach

In the early years of my dating life, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted, and I was sure I was going to get it: a charming, great-looking, well-built guy who dressed well, made plenty of money, and drove me around to nice places in a nice car. He'd have been a bit of a bad boy in his not-so-distant past, but once he met me, he would fall so hard that he wouldn't so much as cast a glance at anything else in a skirt, forever treating me like the queen he could see I was.

Intent on this vision, I summarily rejected any guy who didn't measure up, whether it be the way he dressed, the car he drove, or any other number of superficial reasons. After all, I was going for the fairytale; I didn't want to waste any time.

It took me too many years and too many rocky, failed relationships to finally figure out the problem is that it is a fairytale. It turns out all of these superficial things don't matter one bit as far as love is concerned. Fortunately, I finally figured this out before my real Prince Charming pulled up in his ten-year-old Jeep Wrangler to take me out on our first date.

Just a few years earlier, the sight of his car would have caused me to spend the first half-hour desperately trying to think of ways to end the date early. But for the first time in my life, I saw things differently. Maybe it was because I had matured; maybe it was because I had finally learned the truth; or, maybe it was because I could see that he was a really good guy, no matter what he drove. Whatever it was, it felt right.

Looking back, with the benefit of hindsight, I realize that many things made me realize that I'd found one of the good guys. 

RELATED: 10 Signs He's A Genuinely Good Guy (And Not A Jerk)

Here are 7 tiny ways I knew with 100% certainty my guy was husband material:

1. He was grounded

While a wild and crazy "live fast, die young" kind of guy might seem exciting and oh-so-romantic, marriage lasts a long time, and being with someone who is practical and grounded can make that long time much less stressful and much more pleasant.

2. He was reliable

While the flashy, charming, bad boys were certainly exciting when their attention was on me, it was not nearly as exciting when they would disappear for days on end without a trace, only to pop up again expecting to pick up right where they left off. This man called me when he said he would let me know what his plans were, and answered the phone when I would call him! 

RELATED: 2 Secrets To Healthy Romantic Relationships (That Last)

3. We wanted the same things in life

We both wanted kids and when I told him that I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, he didn't hesitate to agree. He wanted the same kind of long-term stability I wanted, the kind that is offered by a lifelong marriage.

   

   

4. He was open-minded and flexible

Being practical and grounded doesn't have to mean that you also have to be rigid, uncompromising, or boring. He liked to have plans (and still does) but showed me early on that he was flexible enough to change those plans if we wanted to, and he also had a healthy measure of spontaneity.

5. He was honest

In the year and a half we were dating (and ever since), he was never once dishonest with me. Trust has never been a question in our relationship.

RELATED: 10 Legit Signs He Will Eventually Commit And Is Ready For A Serious Relationship

6. He was romantic

From fires on the beach to surprise CDs with the most romantic songs to sending flowers "just because," he's always shown me his romantic side. Even in our busy, hectic family life, he still surprises me with love notes or flowers now and again.

   

   

7. He got better looking all the time

While I certainly thought he was cute the first time he walked across the room to say hello, I found that as I got to know him more, my attraction to him got stronger and stronger. It still does.

Nearly twelve years later, I knew I was right. He is one of the good guys. And now he's my best friend ... and after all is said and done, I miss that old Jeep Wrangler.

RELATED: 18 Comforting Signs He's The One

Jane Garapick is a dating and relationship coach, author, and founder of Getting to True Love. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment to women on their journey to find true love.