Does Playing Hard To Get Really Work?


Does Playing Hard To Get Really Work?
Playing "hard to get" isn't going to get you the guy and here's why!

By SMF's Marcus Osborne, for

Seriously, one of the more ridiculous pieces of advice I hear spun out to women with frightening regularity is "Play hard to get." I'm certain you've heard these gems as well: "Keep him guessing," "Don't immediately return his call" and of course, "Be a mystery."


Related: Is Playing Hard to Get a Turn On or Turn Off?

Where does this stuff come from? I won't claim to speak for every guy, but I'm confident in saying that I speak for the majority of guys when it comes to this topic. Well intentioned girlfriends, they're great … they mean well … but they probably don't know what they're talking about. They — and by proxy you — have been bamboozled! Hoodwinked!

The whole, "playing hard to get" thing is archaic, 19th century nonsense slung around by prudish parents and the "Millionaire Matchmaker" Patti Stanger. This line of thinking certainly has its place … in the 1800’s.

Most reasonably grown men have no interest or tolerance for the "hard to get" game. That men love the chase myth has been propagated for years with very little (if any) rebuttal. It's just one of those things that has always been openly declared and just as openly unchallenged and so the myth has become accepted fact.

Today we challenge this notion.

Guys love a challenge. We love a woman who's confident, smart, knows who she is and what she wants, and who doesn't need a guy to complete her. The fact that the woman doesn't need us makes her a challenge. We know that we've got to be at our best with that woman — whatever our best happens to be. And the man knows that if she does end up with him, she's there because she wants him not because she needs him. And there are no surprises with the woman who is a challenge. We know right away who she is and what she's about.

Related: Why Amazing Confident Women Remain Single

Guys do not love the chase. When you swaddle the concept of the chase with a healthy dose of logic, it's crystal clear why that type of gamesmanship makes little sense. Why begin something new and potentially great by being artfully disingenuous? When you pretend to be less interested than you really are, does this not set the tone for the rampant game-playing aspect of mating and dating most of us want eliminated? Additionally, a guy may decide that he's wasting his time because he can't figure out where he stands. So while you and your girlfriends are busy trying to "make him work for it" because you don't want to seem too eager or too interested, he's moved on because he met someone who was interested and wasn't afraid to be open about it.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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