It's okay. You can hate the player AND hate the game. Just be smart and know how it's played.
We've seen him in movies, we've read about him in books, but what if the guy you are interested in is the player we have come to detest. Avoid being played by learning how to manufacture the game. Look for these tell-tale signs of a modern day Casanova.
- He keeps the lady in waiting. Showing up extremely late, failing to properly cancel plans and not responding to texts or emails during conversation are signs of a blow off. Your time is not important to him because he knows he can see you anytime he wants.
- Wandering eyes so he can see. Does an attractive girl come in his line of vision and he loses focus on you to focus on her? Does he distance himself from you when you are together if there are pretty girls around? These could be signs that he wants to appear unattached and available. If he is busy shopping for his 'next' while he is with you, let him go.
- Flirtatious and friendly. Although this can be a harmless personality trait in some, a player doesn't know how to control it. Flirting is his second language. He calls the lady at check out "Hon", the hostess at the restaurant "Sweetie", the cute bartender is his new best friend and the girl in the short workout outfit is suddenly his new spotting partner. Every woman he encounters has potential, in some way or another.
- Communication is hit or miss. One day you are texting every two minutes, the next two days you don't hear from him. If there is inconsistancy with your pattern of talking which is not explained by work or other obligations, chances are he sees his connection with you like a library book. He can check in or out as necessary.
- Your relationship is strictly private. You have seen every movie on RedBox but you have never seen a movie in a theater. You have tried every take out menu in a ten block radius, but you have never been taken out for dinner. If you spend more time indoors than outdoors (and not for the good reasons), he may be keeping you inside, as a chick on the side.
- Late night dates. Does Mr. Tall Dark & Handsome only seem to know your number after 2 am? Does he text you before he's heading out on a guys night out and tell you he wants to stop by after? Flattering as it may be that he wants to end his night with you, a booty call is what it looks like.
- No photos allowed. If he shys away from taking a picture with you, there's a reason. Unless he is a vampire and doesn't show up on film, no photos allowed can mean he doesn't want to be immortalized with you.
- His friends remain nameless. When talking about his friends, if they are referred to as "the guys", "my boys" or "homies" - either he has horrible name recognition skills or he doesn't want to let you get to close to knowing more abut his private life.
- No socializing allowed. Facebook account - private. Twitter account - private. Your requests to be added. DENIED.