For most of us, the dreaded words, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you," are devastating. They chill us to the bone and we begin to fear for our relationship. Those six words bring back past memories when we loved someone deeply, but they just wanted to be friends.
If someone says it you, it may trigger the pain of a previous relationship. So, what do you do? Here are some tips I've found are effective:
1. Move beyond your fear to hear what he needs. When we're afraid, all we can think about are the disasters we're sure lie ahead. We ruminate over increasingly dramatic and tragic occurrences: "He doesn't think I'm attractive. He's probably going to leave me. I'm going to be all alone the rest of my life." Does any of this sound familiar?
Get a hold of yourself. Don't go down that path. Instead, ask yourself "what does he need?" He may be telling you he needs to recapture his passion for life.
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Many men say they are no longer in love with their wives, but what is really going on is that they are no longer in love with their lives. Talk to him about where he feels stuck and what things might excite him.
It may take time, but with patience he will open up to you and reveal that he's lost some of his passion for life. Together you can recapture what was lost and find a new zealous happiness for life.
2. Become the new woman of his dreams. When you think about it, biology tends to push men toward other women. All women reach a point, usually by age 50, when they can no longer reproduce.
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However, men are able to have children later in life. For women, there's no reproductive advantage to leaving their partners to find someone younger and more attractive. That isn't the case for men.
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