Can Love Really Be 'Blind'?

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Love: Is Unconditional Love Blind?
Think about it: Do you kiss with your eyes open … or closed?

Well, it seems science has finally proved that Shakespeare had it right. Love is, indeed, blind. That is, love is what we feel — not what we see.

The phrase, "Love is Blind" most likely originated in the Shakespeare play, the Merchant of Venice.  In the play the character Jessica says the following:

 

"I am glad 'tis night, you do not look on me,
For I am much ashamed of my exchange:
But love is blind and lovers cannot see
The pretty follies that themselves commit;
For if they could, Cupid himself would blush
To see me thus transformed to a boy."

Scientists at University College London reported in the journal NeuroImage, that romantic love suppresses "neural activity associated with critical social assessment of other people and negative emotions." It seems that once we get close to another person — once we fall in love with them — our brain has a reduced need to assess their character and to harbor negative emotions towards them. Our love for them is blind. It's love we feel ... It's not love we see.

It's our profound belief that the notion "love is blind" has a lot of merit. It's nature's way of allowing us to express our love for another person because we feel that love for them in our heart and in our soul. Our feelings of love are unconditional at the point we express them. So romantic love is often blind, but that isn't such a bad thing.

Now here's our twist on this intriguing notion: When you kiss someone you love in a romantic way, do you keep your eyes open or shut? Our bet? You close your eyes. Isn't this the essence of "love is blind"? You don't have to see the one you love to know you love them. You accept it on faith and you kiss them without fear, without any sense of danger. You love them, if you will, blindly.

For more than three decades, we've interviewed thousands of couples that were in love.  We've found many, many common characteristics that were pervasive throughout these loving relationships. Most notably, those in love, those truly in love, had love that transcended anything you could see or touch with your hand. Their love was love based on trust. Their love was unconditional love. Their love was love based on feelings that were heart-felt. Their love was so strong and so deep, it had become blind love.

It's okay to express your love openly, freely, unequivocally, honestly, and yes, blindly. What you feel in your heart does not need eyes to see. What's your opinion of the phrase "love is blind"? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

Want to know if your love is blind and if your guy really is someone you can trust? Read our latest book, How to Marry the Right Guy, to find out. By Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts

*Creating a successful marriage is not always the easiest thing to do. Your visiting our blog suggests you're highly interested in making your relationship work! And truthfully, we've learned over 30 years of marriage research that there are proven effective ways to ensure a happy and healthy marriage. In fact, as love and marriage experts, we took hundreds of tips from the thousands of happy couples we interviewed throughout the world and put them into our award-winning and bestselling book, Building a Love That Lasts.

More on Love from YourTango:

Article contributed by

Dr. Charles & Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz

Author

Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz
America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts
**For marriage advice and hundreds of practical tips, read the Doctors' best-selling and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts. Available wherever books are sold.  Learn How to Marry the Right Guy when you read the Doctors' latest book--2014 Mom's Choice Awards Gold Medal for Best Relationship Book and 2014 Eric Hoffer Gold Medal for Best Self-Help Book, and the  Learn more about America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts.

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: EdD, PhD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Infidelity / Affair Recovery, Marriage, Nutrition, Wellness
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